


Without a Home (Sequel to Another Story)

by Potter4



Series: Falling [2]
Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Battle, Bisexual Clarke Griffin, Bisexual Raven Reyes, Biting, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Clarke Griffin/Lexa Smut, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Love, M/M, POV Clarke Griffin, POV Female Character, POV Lesbian Character, Pirates, Rewrite, Sex, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Smut, Soulmates Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:34:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potter4/pseuds/Potter4
Summary: Part 2 of Another Story.Will Clarke be able to find a way to forgive Lexa again?What happens when there is a new threat, not from land but from sea?I don't want to give too much away, but I assume most of you are here from continuing on from Part 1, if that is not you then go and read part 1 in the series - The 100 - Another story first!!!Part 2 begins from before the battle with Azegda!
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Series: Falling [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140443
Comments: 78
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter One

Part Two 

Chapter 1  
~ Clarke

Clarke followed Raven through the Ark to her work shop, whilst the rest of her people were preparing for battle, arming the wall. “Ok Raven give it to me, what have we got.”

“Ok, so whilst you have been gone, I am not sure if I have actually slept. So, I managed to build a couple of these drones that fly by remote control. There is a camera attached to them and that is how we know Azgeda’s location. They are currently camped about a two hour walk north of here, we believe it is their plan to strike at first light, so they will start immobilising in the early hours, which does not give us a lot of time, to rein enforce our walls.” 

“How many are there?” Clarke asked a thought crossing her mind. 

“We haven’t got an exact number but thousands.” Raven informed.

“They must have eyes on us correct, which means by now the Queen probably has been notified of my arrival.” 

“Yes.” Raven responded unsure where Clarke was going with this. 

“She will think we are preparing Arkadia to fight and defend.” Clarke said thinking out loud.

“Which is what we are doing.” Raven said confused. 

“What if we didn’t?” Clarke said.

“What open the front gate and welcome them?” Raven said amused.

“No what if we didn’t defend, what if we take the fight to them, attack where they are camped.” Clarke explained.

“It would give us the element of surprise, but if she has people watching, she will be made aware before all our fighters have even left the gate.” Raven said, thinking of all the holes in the plan.

“That’s why only a handful of us will go. Ten or Fifteen. If we catch them off guard, do we have the weapons to do this?”

Raven seemed to be in thought. “I have a machine gun, we salvaged, that I could have working in about an hour. I can attach it onto of the top of the Rover, but we only have enough ammunition for about 2000 rounds. It fires at 500-1000 a minute so should be able to do some damage, before the grounders even know what hit them.” 

“That’s good Raven, that’s good, but we need more.” Clarke said starting to pace.

“Clarke please I am just getting started, do you really think I have been sat here this entire time, just building spy drones.” Raven said with a smug look.

“So, this is everything else we....” 

Raven continued on and their plan came more and more together and Clarke really began to think they would win this.

In the end they decided they would not be able to take the rover, as it was too loud and would be easily noticed leaving. So, two Ark guards opted to carry the heavy machine gun. With the two ark guards, there were, Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, Jasper, Monty (who offered to come along to work the drones.) Harper, Monroe a few more of the 100, Bryan miller’s boyfriend, and a few more Ark guards. The rest of their people will prepare a second front in case they fail.  
.......................

A few hours later and it was now the early hours of the morning, they needed to pick up their pace, if they would make it before Azgeda immobilised. They had gone over the plan a hundred times before they left. No one had made a sound, since they snuck out of the back of the ark, into the night. It took them a little longer going the long way round, hoping to not be seen.

Soon, the Azgeda camp came into view in a clearing in the forest, the night still engulfed them, but Clarke could see those awakening, getting ready as the morning glow would arrive at any moment. They had to act now. Clarke nodded to the others and they split off into 4 groups. Bellamy, Monty and Harper stayed with Clarke. They others disappeared into the trees to spread out at different sides of the camp, but keeping a good distance back until they saw the signal.

Once Clarke had given the other groups enough time to get in position. She positioned herself slightly behind a tree low to the floor, but with a perfect view of the camp that was down an incline in front of her.

Bellamy lay against the dirt hidden in a bush, his automatic rifle ready in hand, the same as Clarke. Clarke, also had her sword sheathed and armoured to the teeth, but right now she had no choice but to use the gun. 

Harper watched their backs, scanning the trees but staying low next to wear Monty crouched, with his tablet in his hands, and the drones sat beside him. He placed a canister into each of their clutches and nodded to Clarke he was ready. Clarke took another look at the camp that was now coming to life. She was listening to the radio that was strapped to her side for the signal, that Octavia and Lincoln had gotten to Miller and the others. They wouldn’t expect them, so they didn’t think there would be too much resistance. 

Time continued to pass and Clarke began to get nervous, it was taking longer than planned, and the camp was becoming more and more prepared to leave as the seconds ticked by. Just when Clarke was loosing hope, the radio made a static sound 3 times. Clarke turned to Monty and signalled for him to begin. 

The drones lifted off into the air instantly. Clarke watched as they flew above the centre of camp. Some eyes drew to their attention, but before any of the Ice Nation knew what was going on. Clarke hit the trigger in her hand and the canisters, they were holding, were released. 

She pulled her mask on and a cover over her just in case they had missed judged and waited as the air became thick with acid fog. Raven had been able to recreate it but not to the same scale, but even this amount would tear its way through the camp. She knew some points would be weaker and it was not enough to take out the whole army, but it was a start. Clarke heard screams and yells, grounders throwing themselves to the ground in agony, others shutting themselves into the tents or wrapping sheets around themselves as they realised what was happening. 

If felt like the screams were never going to end, and Clarke had to look away at some of the body’s that were squirming in my pain on the floor. The last of the screams died out and the fog began to disappear, Raven had warned her the air would dilute it quickly. Clarke did not give the Azgeda another second to react and threw a smoke grenade into the camp and began her open fire. That was the signal for the others who hid in the tree line, to begin their fire also, as well throw their own smoke. 

Arrows flew past Clarke, but Azgeda had no idea where the bullets were coming from. Clarke quickly found the source of the arrows and shot them so they crumpled to the floor. She could hear the machine gun, begin blasting its way through the remaining warriors. The bullets and screams echoed through the white air. 

Clarke moved forward slowly, as things grew quieter and the air became more visible. She could see bodies lined the ground, many still alive gasping for air like Atom, others covered in blood from the bullets. She felt like she was in the mountain again, for a moment she thought she would be sick, but she forced it down and pressed on. 

She saw the few remaining grounders beginning to create a circle in the centre of camp, shields up trying to protect against the bullets. “Nia” Clarke breathed to herself. She caught a glimpse of a crown as she hid behind a tent, the bullets had slowed, the machine gun, out of ammo. The others knew once the air cleared, to stop firing aimlessly in to the camp as their people may have advanced in there. 

“Cowards” She heard a woman’s voice cry from the centre of the remaining Azgeda. Clarke lowered her gun discarding it on the ground. And unsheathed her sword, she wanted to see the light leave the queen as Clarke plunged the sword into her heart. All the emotion, the pain Clarke now felt, was because of her, if it wasn’t for her, her people would be safe, if it wasn’t for her a chance for her and Lexa may still have existed. This woman caused so much pain to Lexa, she was going to be the one to end her. Clarke revealed herself from behind the tent.

“Wanheda. Finally come out of your hiding, holding a real weapon.” She was trying to bate Clarke, but all Clarke could see was the fear in her eyes. 

In an instant Clarke saw the archer beside the queen knock an arrow. She’s the true coward, Clarke thought to herself. “fuck it” Clarke said and lowered her sword. She reached with her free hand to her belt, and withdrew a grenade, throwing it without a second thought. A loud boom rang out and earth filled the air. 

Clarke coughed and strained her eyes to see. Lifting her sword back up and pushed forward. Two Azgeda warriors came at her and she sliced them easily. It was the first time she had used her new skills without it being practice, but it felt natural to Clarke, much better than her gun. She heard the gun shots continue, and another grenade blast in the distinct. She heard metal on metal and soon it became silent and the dust began to settle. Blood stained the floor and the sun now lit up the sky. Clarke looked around at her people, they walked cautiously through the sea of bodies, she was happy to find Miller and Kane amongst them. Miller hand in hand with Bryan. She stepped towards Kane taking his arm, in greeting. 

“What about the other guards that were captured.” Clarke asked, only noticing Kane and Miller.

“They were taken somewhere, probably to where the rest of our people are still imprisoned.”

“Clarke, I know that look.” Bellamy said looking concerned. “We need to go back and regroup, we can find them later.” Bellamy suggested.

Her people were all crowded around now. A couple still scanning for any sign of movement.

“No. Go back if you wish, but I am not returning without all of our people.” Clarke said meeting everyone eyes. “Someone may have escaped, all of Azgeda does not lie at our feet, they could slaughter our people as soon as they hear the news.” Clarke said, her eyes dark, ready for more blood. 

“I’m with Clarke.” She turned to Miller who gave her a nod and she gave him a smile in thanks.

Others nodded their support.

“Fine, what’s the plan then” Bellamy said accepting they would not yet be returning. 

Before Clarke could responded she head Octavia yell; “Clarke here.”

Clarke strode over, as Octavia and Lincoln were moving bodies from something. Clarke met the eyes of the Ice queen still moving, but she had blood dripping from her mouth. They moved the final body off of her, her people must have sacrificed themselves in the grenade to protect her. 

“The mighty Wanheda.” Nia spat out, coughing a little, from the coat of dust that now covered her. “I guess you really are the commander of death after all, Lexa should have killed you when she had the chance.” Clarke’s fist clenched from Lexa’s name on the Ice Queens tongue. 

“Where are my people?” Clarke asked through gritted teeth. 

The Ice Queen just laughed. “They are still where they landed.”

“Farm station.” She heard Bryan mutter.

Clarke turned to face him. “Do you remember the way.” Bryan nodded. 

“Kian, Susan, Tristan and Cal. Tie the queen up and take her back to Arkadia, Monty, Kane you as well. Bryan, lead the way to Farm station.” Clarke commanded.

“No Clarke, if there is a chance my dad could be alive then I’m coming.” She did not want Monty in any danger but it was his decision, she would not take it away as Lexa had tried to do to her. 

“Ok, we will take the horses, it will be faster.” Clarke said pointing over to where several horses were tied up. They would let the other horses go.

“We will be needing these.” Bryan said taking a fur coat from a grounder lay next to him. Clarke wasn’t keen on using one of their furs but, she did as the others did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Part 2 begins! 
> 
> I didn't want to go into too much depth of the battle, so I hope this was enough for you all :)


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I would kick start it with two chapters today!

Chapter 2  
~ Lexa

“What did you do?” Her voice slightly breaking, as she stormed into Aria’s room. 

“What you should have done.” Aria stood from her chair her arms over her chest.

“If you weren’t my sister -” Lexa stopped in her sentence as she noticed Noah lay on his stomach on Aria’s bed, a book in front of him and his legs swinging where he held them in the air, kicked up behind him. He looked up at his sisters confused and slightly distressed by their behaviour. 

Lexa tried to let her features soften.

She stepped closer to Aria and said through gritted teeth beneath her breath; “You can’t hide behind Noah forever.”

Aria just smirked, as she watched Lexa leave the room. Aria knew she would never raise her voice in front of him. 

Lexa went back to her room where she had found it empty. She had come to talk to Clarke, to allow her to leave, with her new plan of getting her people safely to the protection of Polis. She couldn’t have just let Clarke go running into a massacre, they needed a plan. 

She took in a deep breath; all she could do was hope her message to Indra would get there in time and that Bellamy had been wrong in how close Azgeda were. 

As she opened her eyes, she noticed Clarke’s sketchbook, from where it still rested on a table beside Clarkes side of the bed. She took it in her hands as she sat on the edge of the furs and ran her thumb across the cover. Tears began to flow freely and her shoulders shook with sobs. Fear clung to her heart. 

She hated that her last memory of Clarke was seeing the hurt in Clarkes eyes as she realised that she was not going to let her leave. The betrayal. She looked the exact same as she had at the mountain. She wanted to save Clarke’s people more than anything, but Lexa needed a plan, she knew Clarke was rash and not level headed and that she would run into a fire for her people. 

All she wanted more than anything was for that to not be her last memory of her. 

She curled up on the bed, with Clarke’s book held tightly to her chest and she wept. There was nothing more she could do but wait and hope and make sure Clarke would be safe when she arrived.

.......

~ Clarke

Clarke was unsure of how long they had been walking but not long after they had set off, did the snow begin to appear. As they continued on it got deeper and deeper and the sun did little for them. On the up side it seemed as this was normal to the horses. 

Bryan stopped and the others halted behind him. Him and Miller shared a horse, there was enough for one each, but she assumed they must have wanted to feel close after being separated. Clarke’s heart ached a little seeing them like that. “Farm station is just over that ridge and down into the valley.” Bryan explained. 

“Do we have a plan?” Monroe asked, who had practically clung to her horses neck the entire way.

“No.” Clarke said and kicked forward onto the ridge. 

They tied their horses to a tree at the end of the ridge and went on foot down into the valley. 

“We could use the sleep grenades.” Jasper offered as they slid down an icy bank.

“Our people would be asleep too long; we do not know how much time we have before Azgeda is made aware and warriors are sent.” Clarke responded.

“So, we what, just go up and bang on the door?” 

“Yes.” Clarke said, and everyone looked at her as if she had lost her mind. “We are deep into Azgeda, they think Skaikru are being slaughtered right now. They would have taken any warriors they can from these parts into battle. They would have left behind the weak or very few to guard. If Farm station have been here this entire time, the guards left will not see them as a threat and they will be in a general routine, not on guard.” Clarke explained. “I do not think we should knock, no, but there must be a hundred ways in. There were many doors leading to farm station on the Ark, not to mention it crashed from space which would have ripped a few holes in it. They will be mainly guarding inside.”

“Clarkes right, there aren’t exactly holes as Clarke said, and it was quite a soft landing with the snow, but there are several doors leading into it. Farm station is still powered, so the door’s will be easy to get into. Azgeda does not know technology, so they never saw these as a way in or out. It is how we managed to escape.” Bryan contributed.

“Any particular door you think would be best?” Clarke asked as they now hit the base of the valley, Farm station stretched across a white plane in the distance. 

“Yes, this way.” Bryan said taking the lead. 

Luckily for them, farm station had little windows. Just metal walls facing them as they ran along it, their backs against the metal, staying close out of sight. 

They soon came to the metal door. Monty went straight for the panel and removed it’s covering, a few moments later, after he had disconnected and reconnect some wires, the door slid open. The door was higher off the ground, so they would have to push themselves up to get in. 

Bellamy looked in first, checking left to right that the coast was clear. He hauled himself up, gun at the ready, directing it to either side of the corridor. It wasn’t long until they were all inside.

“We will split up, Bellamy, Miller, Bryan, Harper and Monroe, your with me. Monty do you know your way around?”

Monty nodded, looking nervous. 

“Follow the corridor that way, check every room. We leave no one alive.” Clarke said, not waiting for a response, turning and quietly approaching the other direction, her sword at the ready. She thought it would be quieter than her gun. She knew Octavia and Lincoln would think the same with the other group.

For a long time, it was earie quiet until she could hear metal clanging behind a big metal door, which had a wheel to spin open like a volt seal. “This is where we used when we were falling to earth. It is the most secure room.” Bryan said from behind her shoulder. Clarke sheathed her sword and went to try and open it.

“What now?” Bellamy asked.

Called pulled the last grenade that she had from her belt. “move back” she said. So much for a quiet entrance.

They moved around the corner in to a room. Clarke threw the grenade and joined them closing the door.

They gave it a few moments before they entered through the smoke. On the other side was two dead grounders. Five more were stood 10 feet in front swords drawn. Behind them along the wall, were her people. They were covered with soot and looked weak and under fed, it seemed like they were making weapons, swords and such. All chained along a pipe as they worked. Or would work if they weren’t all cowering at the explosion, many against the floor their arms shielding them.

“Who are you?” One of the Ice Nation asked in grounder. 

Clarke answered stepping forward. “I am Wanheda.” Clarke saw the fear stroke across their faces in recognition, but before they had chance to react, she reached for her hand gun and shot them dead. 

Silence swallowed the room. The prisoners unsure on what just happened. There must be over a hundred chained up. Clarke felt sick they had been here all this entire time. 

Clarke didn’t recognise any of their face as she walked into the room further. But they all look scared. 

“My name is Clarke Griffin.” She said aloud, she heard murmurs at her name. “the councillors daughter.” She heard someone mutter in the line of people. 

“You are safe now. We have come to take you back to our people.” She heard Bellamy unlocking cuffs before she had even finished. He must have found the key. An elderly lady, with a gash to her eyebrow, sobbed at Clarkes words beside her. Clarke leant down and put a hand over the woman’s. Her wrists were red from the cuffs. “It’s ok, you’re safe, you’re safe.” Clarke muttered reassuringly. 

It wasn’t long before they were all free, and gathering around her. She spoke loud above the voices, which soon settled as she began. “Is everyone able to walk? We have a long journey back but we should make it before dark.” 

As they had been released, there were more and more faces that looked familiar, but it took a moment to realise with how thin and dirty they were.

A man stepped forward, he looked similar to her father’s age, but with red hair. “What of the cold monsters, an army passed through here only a day ago.” He spoke. The others nodded in remembrance and whimpered at the thought. 

“The army will not be a problem.” Clarke said.

“How can you be sure, at least here we live, we could defend this place?” The man challenged her.

“The army has been destroyed, they are all dead and the queen taken as my prisoner.” Clarke informed them. Whispers flooded the room in shock. 

“We have to leave quickly, anyone who will struggle to walk can ride a horse.” 

Clarke turned to leave, but before she could take another step someone grabbed her arm. “Miss Griffin,” he said respectfully. Clarke knew who it was, without him telling her his name. 

“Mr Green!” He looked just like Monty.

“My wife, have you seen her? My son. You were on the drop ship. Is he...”? He rambled nervously and desperately.

“Your wife is safe in Arkadia where we are taking you.” Clarke decided to say first. “Is Monty with her?” He asked hopefully. 

“No.” Clarke said. His eyes dropped instantly. “He is here, he came to find you.” He looked up into Clarkes eyes, a tear of happiness beginning to form. His eyes jolted to something behind her.

Clarke turned to find the other group. Monty’s eyes locked on his dads. “Dad?” He said not quite believing his eyes. “Monty!” His father said taking him in for a hug. 

Clarke smiled at their reunion. 

......

Arkadia came into view and the gates opened before them, her people waiting behind them as they made their way in. Clarke waited watching her people walk in. Bellamy came to stand beside her. There were many more tears and many more hugs and people reunited with lost loved ones from Farm station. 

She had been here before. Many months ago. It would be easy to walk away again, to find Aria’s village or maybe a different one entirely, or none at all, she could survive by herself in the forest now. 

Bellamy could see her thoughts in her eyes. “Please tell me you’re not leaving?” He said nervously. 

Clarke smiled. “Not this time.” Her people weren’t safe. At least not yet. She remembered the song, Harpers Grandmother sung to her not so long ago. “It’s my turn.” Then she walked in following her people.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter 3  
~Clarke

As she strode through the gate, she was met by her mother and Kane. “Clarke honey I’m so glad your back.” She said as she took Clarke into her motherly arms.

As Clarke pulled back, she asked “The Ice Nation Queen?”

From the look on her mother’s face, she already knew. “Her wounds Clarke, there was little I could do, she had too much internal bleeding from the blast.

“She’s dead?” Clarke needed to hear the confirmation.

Abby nodded in confirmation. Clarke wasn’t sure how to feel at that, part of her wanted to be the one to do it. But the other part of her was just relieved it was over.

“There’s something else.” Her mother said.

Clarke looked up at her waiting.

It was Kane who spoke. “When we neared camp, we were attack. No one was seriously hurt, three of Azgeda are dead, but one is still alive, tied up.” He informed her.

Clarke thought for a moment. “Good, take me to him, I have a message for their commander.”

........

The boy had been sent with her message and she now sat outside the ark beside her friends as she ate her stew, or at least tried, really, she was just moving it around the bowl. She always preferred to eat out here rather than the canteen, any chance to be outside, but she could not stomach it right now.

But before she could even get near to finishing her bowl, she noticed a disturbance near the gate. A few people were gathering to look at something. Clarke stood and walked over; she soon saw Indra followed by a few people from Ton DC on the other side of the gate. The guards looked to her waiting for a command. 

Indra seemed confused at Clarkes pause.

“Open the gate.” She informed them. A moment later and the gate was pulled open. Clarke went out to Indra rather than invite her in. She felt her mother and Kane appear beside her as well as Bellamy. 

“What are you doing here Indra?” Clarke asked slightly annoyed, she knew her message had not yet made it to the capital. Indra was an ally, but right now Clarke’s hatred of the Clan leaders choosing to annihilate Skaikru ran through her.

“I have to say, I am surprised to find you here Clarke. A messenger arrived in the village from the capital, she had ridden none stop with a message from the Commander.” Clarke’s gut clenched at the name, she was still trying to do everything to block that part of the last couple of days out, it was her people she needed to focus on right now. 

When Clarke didn’t say anything but just stood looking at her coldly, Indra continued a little more formally. “She asked for me to help your people get to Polis before Azgeda attacks. Polis is neutral territory, whoever takes sanctuary there, is under the commander’s protection. She wanted me to inform you she will take Skaikru as the Thirteenth clan, with or out without the support from the Clan Leaders.” Indra finished.

It took a moment for Clarke to gather her thoughts. “Your commander is too late.” 

Indra looked confused and looked around, clearly trying to find signs of an attack.

“We took the battle to them... Azgeda army is no more.” Clarke said rising her chin slightly in triumph. 

Indra held her usual facade, but the other grounders behind her looked nervously to one another, one even mumbling something under their breath that Clarke could not quite catch. But they all seemed quite alarmed and taken back by the news. 

“The Queen is dead. Tell you commander, Skaikru rejects the coalition, we will not be a part of something that is led by cowards!” Clarke’s voice was now slightly raised so it could travel over her people behind her as well as heard clearly by those that Indra brought from Ton DC.

“Trikru, Floudonkru and Trishana will always be welcome here.” Clarke decided in that moment. It had not been how she felt earlier when she was writing to Polis, but in that moment, Clarke realised, she would not become them. She would not create enemies where they are seeking peace. 

“I trust you to pass that on to them Indra.” 

Indra nodded. “I will return to Polis myself”

Clarke couldn’t quite read Indra’s expression, but then she never could. She watched them mount their horses and disappear into the tree line, before she turned back around. 

“Clarke are you sure about this?” Kane asked sceptically. “If the commander is offering us a spot in the alliance, we should take it, it could be our only chance of truly having peace on the ground. We could start fresh, make a real life for us here.” 

She knew where Kane was coming from but anger fuelled her right now. “We don’t need them to survive.” Clarke said simply. 

“No. But maybe we need them to live.” Kane said trying to get through to her. 

“I have a plan.” Clarke said lying through her teeth. “Trust me.” And she knew they did, she knew they all did.

.......

Clarke no longer felt like eating, she could barely get her food down before Indra showed up. Her stomach was in constant knots since Lexa walked away from her again.

She knew sending Indra was Lexa’s desperate attempt to try and make things right, but Lexa shouldn’t have taken the future of her people away from her. Indra would have been too late. 

Her paced quickened as she made her way through the Ark. She thought she could pretend it never happened, at least for a while longer so she could try and be the leader her people needed. But now Lexa had made it into her thoughts, she wasn’t going to be able to get her out so easily. 

She opened the door to her room, and slammed it closed, quickly behind her. She was beginning to have another panic attack, she had several after her dad was floated but they had stopped a few months before coming to the ground. 

She slid down the metal door into a crouching position trying to take deep breaths. She felt tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around herself and began to hum the tune to the song, her grandma used to sing to her as a child. 

After sometime she felt like she could breathe again, her struggling to breathe turned into sobs and she pulled herself to her bed. Everything from the past few days washed over her. The new deaths on her hands, the metal shell she felt cold in and the woman she lost. The Ark no longer felt like home. It was no longer her home. Lexa was, or at least she had been. Clarke had never felt so consumed by so many emotions. She felt homesick, mixed with brokenness. She felt like every part of her had been ripped apart and all that was left was agony. 

Fear swarmed her, the fear of whether she would stop feeling this way, she just wanted the pain to stop. She never thought it was humanly possible to feel this much pain, from no physical wound, but it was worse than any wound could inflict, worse than any torture she could endure. It was a living hell. Two days ago, she had been living in heaven, now in nothingness, just hopelessness, pain, torment of knowing would could have been. Of being so close to having happiness. 

She was angry at everything and everyone, she was angry Lexa didn’t believe in her, that she tried to control her like some possession, you don’t lock someone up that you love, you support their decisions and let them make them. She was angry at the clans, for not choosing to be better. Maybe this world is just as bad as the one before the bombs, maybe there was more bad, in people than good, more darkness. Clarke saw this new world as a second chance, yet maybe humans were doomed to make the same mistakes, the same wrong choices. She really hoped they could do better, be better. She was even angry at her people for needing her, maybe if she hadn’t had gone to polis, she wouldn’t feel this way, she wasn’t exactly happy before, but it was better than this. Whoever said it was better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all, clearly had never truly loved, because now it sounded like utter bullshit, she would much rather never had loved right now. The pain was too much. How did anyone survive this, how could it possibly get better?

Clarke lay there shaking, soaked in her tears. Not being able to stop everything and anything going through her head. The worse pain was the memories, they felt so real. She kept replaying the moment she lay in Lexa’s arms and that she promised she would always have Clarke in her arms every night. Clarke never wanted anything more and it made the pain a thousand times worse.

Clarke tried to will herself to sleep, anything that would stop her mind thinking about Lexa, but it was no use. She only fell asleep when Exhaustion took her and the same pair of green eyes waited for her in her dreams. 

..................................

When Clarke woke, she felt like no time had passed, she would have even doubted she had slept if it wasn’t for the clock on the wall. Her eyes were dry but felt puffy. Her face felt tight where the tears had dried and she had a head ache. As the memories flooded her and the pain returned, she knew there was no way she could get back to sleep now, and she wasn’t entirely sure that she wanted too. At least a wake she could try and control where her mind drifted. 

Her stomach was still in knots, and she felt like she couldn’t bring herself to talk to anyone today. Today her people were safe. They were still heavily armed at the wall, in case Azgeda tried to retaliate and there was a lot to discuss about the future, but Clarke could not bring herself to even care about that right now. She wanted to be the best leader she could, she thought her purpose to her people would help, as it helped Lexa when she lost Costia. But maybe she wasn’t as strong as Lexa, maybe she should have walked away when she had the chance yesterday. 

Clarke managed to bring herself to stand and tried to refresh herself in her bathroom. She had grown up on Alpha station, so these are the quarters she has had her whole life. She walked out of the bathroom to the living room and glanced in the open door to her parents room. Her mother had not been back, which was probably a good thing, if she had found her in the state she was, there would have been no getting out of it, without telling her mum the truth and her mum was Lexa’s least favourite fan. At least not having to tell her mother about their relationship was one upside.

As she went to leave she glanced at her jacket that was slumped on the floor. Lexa’s jacket it. Clarke couldn’t help but pick it up. She brought it up to her nose and let herself breathe her in. Breathe Lexa in. But she could only smell herself. Tears began to escape again and Clarke tried to swallow them back. She threw the jacket under her pillow and went and pulled out a different one. This one was a grey padded coat, that cut just at the hips. 

Clarke tried to avoid everyone ones gaze and headed to Raven. She asked her if she would turn the electric fence off. She needed a walk. She would not run. Just a walk. She could see the worry in Ravens eyes at her appearance, she knew that Raven wanted to ask, but she was glad she didn’t. 

Soon Clarke was trekking her way through the trees. She could hear branches crunching below her feet. Flowers were slowly beginning to blossom and Clarke could smell a difference in the air. Spring would be here soon. 

Clarke froze. She noticed a twig snap, but it was not her who snapped it. Clarke reached for her knife and without waiting another second, she spun round. Her knife now rested at the throat of Jasper. “Wow, wow Clarke.” Jasper said, not daring to move. 

Clarke quickly dropped her knife and put it back at its place against her thigh. “Jasper I could have killed you.” She said annoyed. 

“Yet, I get to see another day.” He said smugly.

“Go back, I don’t feel like being around anyone.” Clarke said a little too harshly. 

“I brought gifts.” Jasper held up both hands with a bottle of Monty’s moon shine in each, choosing to ignore Clarke’s rudeness.

As much as Clarke just wanted to be alone, it hadn’t done her much good last night, and the hope of alcohol may give her some moment of peace was too good to turn down. 

So, without a response, Clarke just turned in acceptance and continued her path.

It didn’t take them long to find the dropship. It was now over grown and grass had grown out of the ashes of those burned. 

Clarke sat on a hill, looking at something else she had for a short time, called home. Wondering if anything will feel like home to her again. Or if only Lexa could give her that. 

Jasper sat next to her and twisted open a bottle and handed it to her. She took a sip, the burning felt good down her throat. She heard Jasper take a sip of the other bottle. 

“I can’t see how you did it.” Clarke said, taking another longer sip as she stared at the drop ship and the forest around it.

“Did what?”

“Forgave me. If I lost Lexa like that.” Clarke couldn’t even finish her sentence at the thought. Taking another drink.

“You had no choice. If you hadn’t I would have lost Monty, you, everyone.” 

Silence fell between them, Clarke hated to think it, but part of her wasn’t sure what she would have chosen, if she would have pulled that lever, knowing it would cause Lexa’s death.

“It gets easier. At first I thought the pain would never go away, some part of it doesn’t. I hated that even the memory of Mya caused me so much pain. But as time went on, the memories were no longer painful, they turned back into what they originally were. Happy.” Jasper told her. 

“But, I can’t sit here and pretend I know your pain Clarke, I don’t, as much as I would always choose for Mya to live, it is different for us. I don’t know fully what happened between you and the commander. But I had no other choice but acceptance, she was gone, there was only forward, in a sick way I think it made it easier. But for you, as much as you can say there is no choice, there always is. Lexa is there, if you chose. That is a different sort of battle, a different sort of suffering. To know you could so easily fall into their arms if you let yourself.”

Clarke could feel the warm fuzz from the moonshine and was grateful to feel something other than what she had been. “I thought about it, to just try and forget and just go back to her, be happy. But I wouldn’t be, there would be resentment, the pain of her betrayal, again and again.”

“Hey, I never said you should do that,” Jasper said with half a laugh. “Just that, I didn’t have an option, and I had no choice but to move on, or drown in her memory. But for you, to make that choice to move on and let the pain and the memories go, is going to be a lot harder, a conflict inside that may never end.”

“Gee Jasper, thanks so much for this pep talk, it is really helping.” Clarke said sarcastically nearly downing the rest of her bottle.

“My point is, it’s not just going to go away for you, time helps, but for you it has to be a decision and only until you are ready to put it behind you and move on, the pain won’t stop.” 

“Ok done. I choose to move on, for this to go away. Pain go away.” Clarke said, slowly getting louder, until the last part was a yell to the trees. 

Jasper just shook his head and drank, his explaining was not going to help Clarke today, today she would drown.  
......

It was dark before Clarke and Jasper were stumbling through the gates. Singing Cher- Believe at the top of their lungs, laughing. It was always a hit on the Ark at the dances.

“Do you believe in life after love.” Jasper sang or more like yelled again. 

“No!” Clarke said, and they both burst into fits of laughter as a guard was approaching them from the darkness. 

Luckily for them it was Bellamy. “Clarke what the hell, I couldn’t find you all day, the council has been wondering where you are. The people are still uneasy of what is going to come next.” 

Jasper and Clarke stood straight, Clarke swallowing her bottom lip to try and keep a straight face. As Bellamy finished, she glanced to Jasper who was glancing at her, and in seconds, they were both holding their stomachs with laughter, trying to not fall over from it. 

Bellamy rolled his eyes, looking angrier by the second, but this just make Clarke laugh louder, even pointing to Bellamy now, trying to say something to Jasper but failing because she was laughing so hard. But somehow Jasper knew what she was trying to say. “It’s the eyebrows” he said. And that sent Clarke back into another laughing fit. 

Bellamy crossed it his arms. As Clarke finally caught her breath and she wiped away the tears that had shed, she tried to compose herself. Her drunk mind, suddenly had a great idea as she looked Bellamy up and down. “Yanno Bell, I’m single now.” She said walking up to him, she began to circle around him, trailing a finger across his back, along his shoulders and along his other arm to his elbow. 

He roughly pulled his arm free and stormed off towards the Ark. “What’s got his knickers in a twist” Clarke slurred out. And once again her and Jasper locked eyes and broke out in laughter. 

A couple minutes later and they were still laughing by the gate, but about something entirely different. It must have been later than they realised as there was hardly anyone about.

“Bellamy sent me, he said there were two children by the gate that needed collecting.” Monty said in amusement as he approached.

“Monty!” Jasper yelled in greeting. “You are my best friend. How is mum and dad, tell them I can’t join you guys for dinner, me and Clarke are going to find the beach. Monty why haven’t you taken me to the beach? Monty do you like sand? Me and Clarke are thinking we won’t be a fan so we are going to try jump it to the water.” 

“Well, dinner was a few hours ago, so I am sure they know by now, but why don’t we go find something for you guys to eat?” 

“There is fish in the ocean Monty! Ooo we could have it raw, I’ve always wanted to try sushi!” Clarke practically yelled in excitement at the thought.

“Ok, how about this, we get you guys some food, find a nice comfy bed, and we will arrange a trip in the morning. I know Raven would be gutted if she missed another adventure.” 

Jasper and Clarke actually seemed to contemplate it. “Too the dining hall.” Jasper yelled and threw one fist in the air like he was about to run into battle. 

It took Monty another hour before he got any food down them and some liquid and got them back to their rooms. 

Jasper was in his and he had now just lay Clarke in hers, her eyes already closed when she asked. “Monty? If you loved someone, more than anything, but they hurt you, but now you hurt more than them hurting you even hurted, would you end the hurt and just love them? Love is suppose to be unconditional right, its like even though I hated what she did I love her anyway, it didn’t change that, yet I know I can’t be with her, so I hurt?” She kept her eyes closed. 

“I think unconditional love is the most dangerous. If you end your hurt by being with them too soon, then you are just putting a band aid over the wound. The wound would still be there, still sometimes hurting and there is always the risk, the band aid will fall off. Only time will let it heal properly and only then will you be able to love them again.” 

“You’re so wise Monty, like a tree, a very wise, wrinkly, big tree.” And with the last word. Clarke was asleep.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter 4  
~Lexa

Their voices laced with fear, sending shrills through the tower, bouncing of the walls. The young boy towered uncertainly, not daring to move from where he stood. 

“Impossible!”  
“Azgeda have one of the most powerful armies, they would have doubled in number compared to the invaders.”  
“You agreed with the Azgeda ambassador, this is your fault!”  
“My fault! The queen was ignorant in thinking she could try and kill the one who commands death and escape with her life!”  
“What if she commands our death!”  
“Her spirit is powerful!”  
“She could command our death at any moment, we do not know the limit of her power.”  
“This is Azgeda’s fault for attacking!”  
“You all agreed!”  
“You want us all to be weak like the rest of your people, living on the water.”  
“Sometimes, it takes more strength to choose peace.”  
“Coward.”  
“Wanheda asked for peace. Do you call her a coward also?”

Lexa opened her mouth to silence the room, but for the first time in a long time. All she could do was force back a smile. She couldn’t help but swell inside with pride, she should never had doubted Clarke, the relief that she was ok, vibrated through her. She knew what Clarke said was not true, she would not declare war on the other innocent Clans, she could not shoot a lonely wanderer dead on sight, but she was not going to tell the other clans that. Clarke may have been angry when she wrote it, but she knew her and she knew her heart.

After tensions rose further in the room, and it brought Lexa out of her thoughts, she found her words; “enough.” Lexa said loud about the voices. Nia’s head still lay at her feet.

“See to it that the boy gets fed and somewhere to sleep tonight before he returns to his family.” She directed at one of her guards. They nodded and escorted the messenger out.

She nodded to another guard to take the head away.

They all sat in silence, looking to Lexa. 

“Prince Roan is now King of Azgeda. I will invite him here to take the brand.” Lexa stated, holding the alliance together was her priority.

“And what of Wanheda?” Luna asked nervously, Lexa knew Luna does not agree with their ways and that part of the agreement in being in the alliance meant she did not get called upon to war like the others. But Lexa still knew, Luna did not want that for the other clans either.

“Wanheda will cause no harm as long as there are no further threats.” Lexa said simply. 

“We should raise the armies and destroy them!” Reeko, Leader of the Sangedakru said, slamming his first down against the arm of his chair. 

All looked at him warily, most looking to the ground, not liking the sound of that.

“You are choosing fear again. Reeko.” Lexa’s words echo through the room, reminding them of Wanheda’s letter, that they had heard only moments ago.

“Azgeda’s army made up a huge portion of the coalition army. We should have made Skaikru a part of the coalition when we had the chance.” The Leader from Trishana spoke, who always supported Skaikru joining.

“Astrid is right. We made the wrong choice. Wanheda is powerful, we do not know the weapons they possess, we should agree to the boundaries she set. Shallow Valley does not want to have to face death, all those before have perished against her. You cannot kill that, that commands death. Nia should have known better.” Ivanna leader of Shadow Valley voiced. 

Others seemed to agree. Lexa knew that other than Trikru, Azgeda had the strongest army and she knew Trikru may have allowed the attack from Azgeda, but they will not be willing to take up arms against Skaikru. 

Luna tried to also get the others to see reason; “Wanheda has made it clear she does not want war. So why seek it? Was the goal of the coalition not to stop the endless fighting? Have we not all lived in peace for years since Azgeda joined. You all know where my people stand, we will not fight, we are peaceful. My people will send gifts as an apology to Wanheda for the coalitions disrespect of her power. I suggest the rest of you do the same.”

“We could still try and invite Skaikru to join, with them as part of the Alliance we would have nothing to fear from Wanheda.” The leader of Ingranrona suggested. 

“We just insulted her by turning her away. We just allowed one of our members to attack her people. Wanheda will not join, not now. But she has only ever wanted what was best for her people. If we are all in agreement, I will offer her a treaty, of peace?” Lexa decided to finally step in and close the matter. Relieved her people would not request a war. 

They were all in agreement and Lexa could let out a breath. It was over, Clarke was safe, her people were safe. But then a new pain and fear hit her. She had still lost her. 

\-----------------------------------------

~Clarke

The first thing Clarke thought of as she opened her eyes was Lexa, she felt the bed next to her forgetting for a second that she would not find her there. She rolled over taking in the leather jacket and held it against her. Monty’s words echoed from the night before.

Even in her understanding of his words, it didn’t take the pain away. She had no will to get up, no will to talk to anyone. So, she just lay there. Her mother was working around the clock in the med bay with the farm station prisoners and she knew she was supposed to be coming up with a solution for the overcrowding since, they arrived. But still, she lay there.

There were no windows to her room, so it stayed in darkness. On the way back from relieving herself, she rummaged through some cupboards, hoping to find one of her dad’s olds bottles.

Her luck won out and she found several bottles. She took the one that was a weird shade of orange and took it back with her to her room. It was better than Monty’s moonshine.

As she sat on her bed, staring into the bottle, her bag caught her eye. She pulled it onto the bed with her and emptied its contents. Her sketch book was still on the table next to their bed, but there was a book lay before her. She picked it up and scanned the cover. ‘Romeo and Juliette.’ She opened the book and found the page she had last read, thinking she may as well read to pass the time, it couldn’t make her feel any worse. 

A couple of hours later and Clarke was sobbing once again. She had been wrong. She felt like her heart had been broken all over again. It was so infuriating, they both could have lived and been happy, only mere seconds is what lay between that, if Juliette had just woken up a moment earlier. Clarke threw the book and it landed somewhere on the floor and she took another sip of her bottle. 

Maybe it was a sign she thought, maybe her and Lexa were always going to end in tragedy, maybe there was no such thing as happily ever after.

She had ignored a few knocks throughout the day, but this one seemed like it would never give up. So eventually she just shouted. “For fucks sake its open!” 

An annoyed Bellamy stormed into the room, he just stood taking her in at first. “Clarke.” He breathed, becoming softer. “I’m worried about you.” He said stepping closer.

“Don’t be. I don’t think I was ever destined to find peace Bell, there is no point in trying, as soon as I do there will just be another thing, another mountain, another betrayal.” Clarke said in defeat. 

He crouched down beside the bed and took one of her hands into his own. Her other hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle. “Clarke, seeing you... at the capital... well it hurt, but no matter what I will always be here for you, I can see how much you care for her, but she wouldn’t want this for you either.” Clarke pulled her hand away quickly and Bellamy went to stand, regret on his face for the choice of words.

“I don’t give a damn what she would want Bellamy.” Clarke said taking another sip at the mention of Lexa.

“I’m sorry, I know, that’s not what I meant, just please tell me how I can help.” Bellamy pleaded with his eyes.

“You can’t, I’ll be ok, I just need some time.” Clarke confessed. “I feel exhausted all the time, I can’t get to sleep, and when I sleep, I think of her, so I wake, and then I can’t get back to sleep, When I try to eat, I feel like being sick.” Clarke breathed about to say what she had been thinking all day; “as much as I want to be the person they need. I’m not. I’m not in a position to make decisions, maybe we should have joined the coalition, it would have brought safety to our people. I was their leader in war, you should be their leader in peace.” Clarke felt better, being able to be honest with him.

“Clarke, I wish I could change it for you, I wish I could take the responsibility, but it is not me our people look too, it is not me the other Clans fear. The people’s fear is heightening, they haven’t seen you since you returned with farm station, there are some whispers you were hurt in battle, others worry there is something you are not telling them, another threat that you fear so much it has kept you hidden with worry. I’m trying to do what I can but I need you. Everyone is on guard all the time and it making everyone more uneasy by the hour.” Clarke could see Bellamy’s eyes go watery, he looked like he was about to break.

Clarke wasn’t sure what to say, her mind was foggy with the alcohol, but she hadn’t realised that even though she didn’t walk away at the gates, she still left Bellamy again, on his own. 

“It’s getting late. I’ll have someone bring you some dinner.” Was all Bellamy said, when Clarke didn’t respond. 

“Bellamy, wait. Azgeda is not going to attack, they would have lost their entire army, whoever takes over, will not risk another attack, they would not be able to build a force bigger than their previous one for a long time. The other Clans will now know what happened. They will not let Azgeda attack again, and risk war from us against the entire 12 Clans. That’s why I wrote, that we would attack them all if even we were threatened by one, I knew it would force the others hand to intercede and stop Azgeda if they did try again. They might have let Azgeda wipe us out, but they want no war of their own and one they would now be unsure if they could win. Azgeda had one of the largest armies and were the most ruthless.” Bellamy looked slightly confused why Clarke was telling him this.

“The huts that stand empty outside the walls, they are safe. It is time our people stop living in fear.” Clarke added, so Bellamy would understand what she was getting at.

“They won’t listen to my word on it, Clarke, they need to hear it from you.” Bellamy pleaded with his eyes.

Clarke’s gaze dropped to the book on the floor. It’s not that she didn’t want to. But the thought of staying strong whilst she addressed her people, left her in doubt. She could barely hold it together as it is, the last thing she needs is to break down in front of them, she didn’t want to change the way they saw her, the way they thought of her. She didn’t want them to see her for what she was. Broken.

“You will think of something.” Was all Clarke said, before she had another drink.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to covid I have nothing to do this weekend, so you guys are in luck and are likely to be having quite a few chapters heading you way!
> 
> I hope you keep enjoying the updates!
> 
> 20% of the UK has now had the vaccine, so fingers crossed, we may be back to some normality soon! I hope this fan fic has helped you through the lockdown! I know it has been a huge help to me, giving me something to focus on!
> 
> I can't tell you guys how much I love your comments and support to keep writing!

Chapter 5  
~Clarke

Clarke stayed like that for a few days, her food staying mainly untouched. Bellamy had been to inform her that her people think she is just unwell and that under her promise of them now being safe, they have ventured out again, many moving things into the huts. It sounded like people’s spirits were back up and a slither of normality was returning to camp. Others had been by but at first Clarke hadn’t had much to say, often she just pretended to be asleep, or was actually asleep. When Raven came in, she just lay with her, just held her; Octavia would have told her the truth by now. But eventually, they managed to pull more life out of Clarke, little by little. 

On Bellamy’s next visit, he told her of how Indra had arrived, with more gifts than Clarke could imagine, being pulled behind her. Apologies from the Clan leaders, gifts to build amends. But Clarke saw it as gifts out of fear, would fear always hold the power? 

Bellamy listed off what he could, he was so excited. The plains riders had given two dozen horses, the boat people, endless trunk’s of iced fish. The list went on, from furs, to weapons, to different foods, to Art and decor. 

When Bellamy first mentioned Indra’s arrival her heart sank into her chest, nervous Lexa was with her. She wasn’t sure she was relieved or disappointed when he never mentioned the commander. 

He ended with informing her there was going to be a council meeting tomorrow, to discuss if they should accept the apology, and accept the offer of a peace treaty. They had even received items from Azgeda, and their new King Roan.

Clarke knew Lexa would accept them into the coalition if they wished it, and thought it was smart of her to offer a treaty of peace, it would be stupid of them not to accept, she knew that Lexa knew that they would never say no. All Clarke had wanted since she landed was for peace, a better life for people. She thought this was the best option right now. If she joined the coalition too soon, it may be seen as weak, after they just had an attack, by a member of the alliance. She also did not want to be obliged to be pulled into any of the alliance’s squabbles or more battles. Her people had done nothing but fight since they landed, the treaty would give them safety without any obligations to the alliance. Also, this meant Clarke would not have to go to the capital to take the brand. 

To Clarkes own surprise, she promised Bellamy that she would be at the meeting. 

The pain had yet to fade, but the more her friends came by, and the more moments she spent with them, the more she noticed, being around them helped, it slowed her thoughts and even brought a smile to her face. She wasn’t helping herself staying here.

\--------------------------------------

The next morning came and Clarke went for a shower, as she shredded her clothes, she looked at herself in the mirror, her friends had told her she looked horrendous, but Clarke didn’t even recognise herself. Her eyes were dark with lack of sleep, she had already started to loose too much weight, with the past week being barely able to eat. 

The shower felt amazing, she stepped out feeling fresh. She put on some black jeans and a long sleeve white loose top and a padded Gilet hoping to fill herself out a bit. The shower made her feel better but did little for her appearance. She managed to swallow down the bowl of cereal and fruit that Harper stopped by with earlier. The cereal was a little soggy now but after seeing herself she did what she could to finish the bowl. 

Bellamy had said, her mother had been sleeping at her desk and he was becoming concerned with her as much as he was with Clarke, so Clarke headed there first before the meeting. 

It took her a moment by the door, it felt a long time ago, since she had left her room. With a deep breath she exited.

The med bay was still full, the beds mainly taken by the elderly, on drips until they could fully cover. 

All eyes landed on her as the door slid open and she stepped in. 

As she walked to her mother’s office an old man grabbed her wrist. “Thank you.” He said sincerely. “We owe you our lives.” 

Clarke gave a smile, and her heart warmed as others around him agreed. 

“You are my people; you owe me nothing.” 

As the man let go, Clarke moved into the office without knocking.

Her mother was sat in her chair reading a chart. When her mother looked up at where she had entered. Clarke saw her smile crumble with worry. She dropped the chart on her desk and hurried to Clarke.

“Clarke, honey, no one told me you were ill.” She said cupping her cheek, taking her in to a hug. 

“I would had been by if I had known, I assumed you were busy after everything.” Her mother said steered with guilt. 

“I’m fine, I’m feeling much better.” Clarke thought it would be best that her mum also believes what the rest of her people did, it would make things easier.

“You haven’t been home and Bellamy says you have been working none stop.” Clarke said the accusation clear in her voice. 

“There is little people who have the medical training, Jackson has three apprentices but we are still spread thin.” Her mother explained.

“You are no good without your rest.” Clarke argued. 

Before her mother could get her words out. Clarke continued. “I am on my way to the council meeting.” Bellamy had said her mother had taken a step back and was now focusing on the med bay. “Let’s have dinner tonight in our room, just you and me and then after you can get a proper night’s rest.” Clarke said. 

Her mother could tell Clarke would not take no as an answer. “Ok sweetie, I will leave Jackson in charge tonight.” Clarke smiled and left her mum to her work.

\----------------------------------------------

To Clarkes surprise Indra was still here and present at the meeting. She gave Clarke an uneasy look, like she was examining her very closely, looking her up and down. Clarke sat at the head of the table, but it was Bellamy that took the meeting. How her people could not yet see what she did in him, she would never know. 

Bellamy, announced the commander’s terms and others suggested options in response. 

It seemed unanimous that they wanted to accept the treaty, all except one. He was the red headed man from farm station, someone mentioned his name as Jack. He must now have a seat on the council. He seemed to hate all grounders for Azgeda’s actions. 

“We are better off on our own, you slaughtered 5000 with barely over 10 people.” She saw Indra wince ever so slightly at that news. No one would know outside Arkadia of what happened. Clarke left no survivors to tell the tale. Clarke could tell Indra was nervous at the information. 

“If they become a problem, I say we wipe out them all, then we have nothing to fear.”

“We will not let fear dictate our decision.” Clarke said agitated, rising from her chair, her hands on the table. 

It was the first time she spoke since entering. The other council members, had looked at her warily, unsure what to make of her appearance when she entered.

“You say it so easily, that we can just wipe them out. I ask you Jack, how many people have you killed?” 

His eyes glanced down with his answer. “I have taken more lives than those inside these gates, men, women, children. Each death tearing apart my sole a little more. You have no idea what you speak. They are not just warriors you are wiping out; it is a man bringing home flowers to his wife.” Clarke’s mind flew to Thomas and Dauriel. “It is a teenager, sneaking out to go to a party in their village. It is a woman breast feeding her new born. It is a Grandfather cooking a meal for their family who are all gathered around a table laughing. It is a Father and his daughter fishing by a lake. Children finding insects in the woods.”

Clarke paused, trying to calm herself at his ignorance. “If I bring you a child from Azgeda will you slaughter them where they stand Jack?” He looked up meeting her eyes as she waited. He shook his head.  
“That is what you are suggesting. We may have just slaughtered 5000 people, but they were warriors, we had no choice and it makes me feel sick that we did it. You think they chose to be there, that they woke up one morning thinking lets go kill the sky people today for no reason. No, it was their leadership, it was their queen. We will give King Roan a chance to prove he is different from his mother, we will give the coalition another chance to prove hope of a peaceful future, triumphs over their fear.”

Bellamy rose beside her as the room stayed silent. “All those in agreement to form a treaty with the commander and her coalition.”

All hands were risen including Jack’s.

\----------------------------------------------

After the meeting, Clarke slipped away before Indra or anyone could speak to her. She was glad she went, but she was slowly starting to find it too much and she could feel her chest tightening and her breathing becoming quicker. 

Clarke hummed her usual song and quickly calmed herself on the sofa in her room. 

Indra informed them that the leader of Skaikru would need to come to Polis to discuss and confirm terms, signing the document with the other leaders. The plan was to leave at sunrise tomorrow. The ceremony would be the day after. The thought had triggered her attack. Bellamy had said a couple days ago the council had done an official vote for her as leader and that in 8 weeks’ time they would hold an election.

Kane had offered for us to throw a celebration on her arrival back from Polis, to celebrate the new treaty, to celebrate the first day of peace. He had told Indra to invite Ton DC and any surrounding villages who wanted to join and that they will use the food that was sent as gifts for a feast.

Before she could think more on it. The door was opening and her mother came in.

It felt nice to just eat and chat with her mother, but it was harder without her father. He should be here. Her mother tried to probe her about the illness, something in her mothers eyes told her she knew there was something more, but didn’t ask. Clarke was grateful, she didn’t want a lecture from her mother about the commander and she didn’t think she could talk about Lexa without breaking right now. She was trying to do what she could to hold it together, but it was draining her.

As soon as her head hit the pillow, for the first time in days, she slept straight away. But her peaceful night soon ended when she woke up to her mother trying to calm her and took her into her arms. Clarke felt covered in tears, her heart pounded like it was trying to break free. Fear clung to her deep inside. Her breathing eased as her mother stroked the back of her hair. 

Clarke had already forgotten what the nightmare was, but the way it made her feel still lingered. 

As Clarke pulled back from her mum in the darkness, her mum took both sides of her face into her hands, wiping away her tears with her thumbs.   
“Clarke, what happened in Polis?” 

“I ... can’t” Clarke managed to get out but her voice broke, and more tears streamed out. 

“Ok, ok honey, don’t worry your safe here, your safe now.” Clarke had no idea what her mum thought happened but it was the least of her concerns right now.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a very exciting chapter, but there is some good stuff coming!

Chapter 6  
~ Clarke

Clarke woke the next morning alone. A loud knock on her door. Her mother had already left. Clarke was about to get up to answer when she heard the door open and Bellamy appeared. 

“Hey, Indra is expecting you.” He said, pain in his eyes for having to say those words. He would know it was the last thing she wanted. “Maybe seeing her will help Clarke and I promise I won’t leave your side unless you ask me away. We will get a double room. Aria will be there.” He said, trying to make it sound better. 

When she didn’t respond, he continued “They need the rover here, so it is already going to take a while to get there on horseback. We really do need to get going Clarke.” 

“No.”

“No?” 

“I will not be going, I owe nothing to them. Who are they to dictate our customs. You are the head of our foreign affairs.” Clarke was saying whatever came into her mind.

“I am?” Bellamy asked.

“You are, or your joint leader, co leader, whatever they need to hear. Please bell, if its that important to have my signature, you can discuss and agree to the terms and return and I’ll sign it and send it back.” Clarke said, desperation in her eyes. 

Bellamy stood silently in thought.

“I am Wanheda right? They fear me more than ever, they will just be grateful we have agreed, they will not dare question our actions, not this soon.” She couldn’t see Lexa, she just couldn’t.

“Ok, as long as you make me a promise.”

“Anything?” Clarke said letting a sigh out in relief.

“You will not stay hidden away in here whilst I am gone. Yesterday was a good first step, but none of our people saw you. They are happy with the treaty, but there is still uncertainty in camp, they need to know you are here, that you are with them, after last time, some think you may leave...”

Clarke cut him off. “I won’t”

“I know that Clarke, but they have just fallen from space, from everything they ever knew, everyone here has lost at least one person, every time they begin to feel like it’s over, something else has happened to them, if they see you, if they know you are here with them, they will fear less of the future and they will trust that you will be here to help with whatever comes next.”

Clarke nodded. “Hey Bell.” She said before he could leave. “The other night when me and Jasper came back into camp.” 

“Don’t worry about its Clarke.” He said with a smile that showed he meant it. Clarke returned her own thankful smile. 

“Tell Aria I miss her, and if she can, see if she can get me my sketch book.” Clarke asked him. It seemed stupid to prioritise something like that right now, but it was all she had from her time with Aria and her family, it was her gift from Noah.

“I’ll make it part of the treaty if I have to.” He said with a laugh.

“Be safe.” 

“I will.” And with that he was gone. 

Clarke pulled herself out of bed once again, not wanting to betray her promise to Bellamy so soon on. He would be back in less than a week if negotiations went to plan. But she knew it would feel weird being here without him.

\------------------------------

Once she was ready, she went to find Jasper and Monty. She found them hauled up in some computer room. “If you have come for more moon shine Clarke, Bellamy has already threatened to confiscate my stash if I give you any.” Monty insisted, holding his hands up, as he spun to face her in his computer chair. 

Clarke smiled. “No, don’t worry I think I should stay clear of that stuff for a while.” 

“Well at least you have a lovely singing voice Clarke, Jasper on the other hand...” With Monty’s words all three broke out in laughter. It felt good to laugh, to know that she still could.

“Miller, Bryan, Octavia and Lincoln went with Bellamy,” Jasper said from where he sat with his feet up on another chair, eating a bag of nuts.

“Did you guys not want to return there?” Clarke asked curious. 

“Monty here is setting up cameras all over the forest.”

“The signal is higher now with Raven’s new beacon, so we can transmit a live feed and the radios will work further.” Monty finished in more depth, his excitement showing. “Raven is working on some motion senses, which will allow the camera to follow the movement.”

“That sounds amazing Monty, no more surprise attacks, we would be able to see everything.” It would be amazing but, it reminded her of those in the mountain and their surveillance. 

“So, if you’re not here for Monty shine, what can we do for you Chancellor?” Although Jasper said it playfully, it had been the first time anyone had called her that, it felt wrong, like they were still in space. 

“I was actually hoping Monty might have some free time later.” Clarke said looking at Monty who was typing something on a computer screen.

“For you Clarke, sure always, what can I help you with?” He said not quite looking away from the screen.

“It was your piano skills I was hoping for.” Clarke said uncertainly.

This made Monty pull his focus from the screen and spin his chair to look at Clarke. “I might be a little rusty but it would be nice to have a reason to play again.” He said as his answer. 

“Thank you, Monty, will you come find me later?”

Monty nodded. “You know Clarke I am pretty handy with the triangle.” Jasper said with a grin, trying to be included.

“Thanks Jasper but I only need a piano, but you are welcome to keep us company.”

\----------------------------------------

Later that night, Monty had found her in a storage room, that housed a beautiful piano. She had been scribbling down lyrics all day, going off what her grandmother had sang to her and tweaking it here and there.

It was nice for Clarke to have something to focus on, something to keep her mind off things.

“So, Clarke, what’s going on.” Monty asked, taking his place on the stool, behind the piano. 

“I know I have been distant since we returned from Azgeda, and I want to do something for our people, it’s hard for me right now to be around everyone, to just carry on like normal. But I don’t want them to think I am abandoning them.”

Monty only nodded and they soon got to work. Clarke showed him her song and the tune and he came up with a melody. Clarke enjoyed his company as well as his help on the piano. 

Over the next few days that was where Clarke stayed, she only promised Bellamy that she would leave her room, she never said anything about hiding in another. 

She enjoyed her evening meals with her mother, her mother never speaking of the nightmares that came every night. She knew that’s why her mother had started coming back every night. The worry for her never, fully leaving her mother’s eyes. 

Clarke still struggled to feel hungry, but when sat across from her mum she never had a choice but to swallow it all, or she would never hear the end of it. 

She seemed to slowly begin to convince herself it was fine, that she was fine. Jasper said she was going into denial, but whatever it was, by the time Bellamy had radioed saying he would be back the following day, she was feeling a lot better. If this was denial, pretending like she never even went to the capital, that she doesn’t care, then she would rather stay in denial forever, than to feel the pain she felt days before.

\-------------------------------------------------

~Lexa

Lexa waited on her throne, one of her legs was shaking nervously, when she noticed she rested a hand on her knee to stop it. She could see Titus side eyeing her cautiously. She still clung to the relief that Clarke was ok. Although it didn’t take long for the happiness, to be replaced with anguish and guilt after she found out. But she still tried to focus on the simple fact that Clarke was alive and tried to convince herself that it was all that mattered. As the meeting with the leaders had ended and they all had a sudden change to their tune. An agreement was met to extend a peace treaty and send gifts to ask forgiveness and a promise of a different future.

When Indra had arrived, informing her that Clarke had rejected the coalition, Lexa had expected nothing less. She had sent Indra back with her new offer, knowing sending someone they were unfamiliar with would have been a bigger risk. She had debated going herself, but from Indra’s description of Clarkes cold welcoming, she thought it was best to give her space, not wanting their relationship to affect any decisions. She hoped Clarke would make the right decision for her people and come here to sign the treaty.

The night after receiving her letter had hit her the hardest, the days before Lexa suffered in fear, now she suffered in loss. Her bed was emptier than ever before, she felt cold and the consequences of her actions, were slowly seeping into her. A whole new fear gripped her as the realisation seeped in that she had lost Clarke anyway, maybe forever this time. 

She looked down at where her wrist rested, covered in silver, hearing a faint calming tick, from the watch that was always there. A small bit of hope lived in side of her, that maybe she could get Clarke to forgive her, that maybe Clarke would understand that she did it because she cared.

She had been informed Indra had returned with the Skaikru party and now her heart pounded in her chest as she waited for the doors to open and for blue eyes to meet hers.

She felt like Clarke took her heart with her when she left, like Clarke had stolen half of her. She had given all of herself to Clarke, and now she felt lost without her.

As the doors pulled open, she sat a little straighter, she could see the black around her eyes in her vision as she scanned for Clarke.

Her heart sank in her chest when she realised, she was not here. The last of her hope slowly disappearing. 

She heard a disappointed sigh from where Aria stood on her other side. She knew how much Aria wanted to see Clarke. She was angry with Aria at first, part of her still blames her because if Aria had not let Clarke leave when she did, it would have given her a chance to apologise and let Clarke go, maybe then she would have had hope in gaining Clarke’s forgiveness. But she couldn’t stay angry at Aria for long, no one ever could, she just had that way about her, the sparkle in her eye, that made you smile when she smiled. Aria was right, she did what she should have. 

Indra stepped forward. She felt a twitch in her jaw muscles when she saw Bellamy. Stood behind him was Octavia and Lincoln and a few others she did not recognise. 

“Heda, Skaikru has agreed to a treaty.” She said dipping her head. Lexa barely registered the words. 

“Where is Wanheda?” She could not stop herself from asking. 

Indra looked to Bellamy like she did not want to be the one to answer that, so he cleared his throat and stepped forward. 

“I am the negotiator with foreign affairs for Skaikru Commander.” Bellamy’s voice was very formal, but she could still hear the nervousness and shakily voice beneath it that was the boy she knew. 

The leaders stood to the side, wanting to be here to welcome Skaikru.

“Leave us.” Lexa commanded. “You too Titus.”

Everyone scrambled out of the room on her command, Aria, Indra and the Skaikru the only ones left. 

Lexa stood from her chair, her jaw high as she walked towards Bellamy, his eyes dropped as she got closer. 

“Why is Clarke not here, is she ok?” Lexa faulted needing to know, asking Indra.

“She is fine no thanks to you.” She heard Bellamy say annoyed, stepping forward, closer to her.

“Then why is she not here?” Lexa asked again calmly. She felt Aria immediately at her side. 

“Why do you think, you are the last person Clarke wants to see, she’s hurting and its your fault, she trusted you.” Bellamy’s anger was rising and Octavia made him take a step back. 

She could see him take a deep breath, and stepped back. She realised she was not going to get much information from him right now.

“Your rooms have been prepared for you all, the guards will show you to your rooms, negotiations will begin tomorrow.” Lexa said dismissing the rest of the sky people.

When the doors closed behind them, she turned back to Indra. She just looked at Indra expectantly. “Clarke encouraged her people to accept the offer, but...”

“But what Indra?” Lexa’s voice slightly rising. 

Indra’s eyes kept a firm gaze to somewhere behind Lexa. “She did not look well, she look as our people did when they escaped the mountain.” Indra managed to say, nervous of Lexa’s response.

“Thank you Indra, I know I can always trust you. Rest, I would like you by my side tomorrow.” Lexa said softly.

Indra nodded, but paused on her way out, turning back to Lexa. “There is something else. Something I think best kept quiet.”

Lexa swallowed nervously. Waiting for Indra to continue. “They mentioned the battle. It was only a dozen Skaikru against the army.”

Lexa gave a low understanding nod. Indra feeling her duty was done, exited the room.

Lexa walked to her balcony that was behind her throne. Aria followed closely behind.

She took a deep breath in, of the fresh air that hit her. She closed her eyes listening to the noise of her people below, letting the tears fall down her face. Bellamy’s words replaying in her mind. It was her fault, the last thing she would ever want is to hurt Clarke. She took in another deep breath, feeling a little queasy and slowly let it out. She felt so hopeless, she wanted to take Clarke’s pain. If Clarke had come, she could have spoken to her, explained, even if Clarke didn’t forgive her, maybe it would have done something to make her feel better.

All Lexa could do now is keep Clarke and her people safe as Commander, and that’s what she intended to do tomorrow. 

“Lexa.” She heard Aria barely say above a whisper, breaking the silence. She felt a hand on her shoulder and as she turned to face her big sister, Aria pulled her into her and Lexa broke, she felt her lip quiver and her body shook into Aria’s and they both fell with Lexa’s weight, onto their knees on the balcony. 

Lexa was grateful Aria didn’t say anything. She just held her.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
~Lexa

The guards, pushed the doors and Lexa strode into Bellamy’s room as if she owned it, because she did. He stood from when he sat on the sofa. “Commander,” He said with a slight bow.

“Are you ready for the meeting?” Lexa asked cordially.

“Yes.” Bellamy said with a cough clearing his throat, not quite meeting the Commanders eyes. “Commander, I want to apologise for my behaviour last night.” 

That took Lexa by surprise, maybe there is more to this boy than she realised.

“Very well, but if you have anything else you would like to get off your chest, I would much prefer you do it now, rather than in front of the Clan Leaders.” Lexa said with one eyebrow raised at the challenge. 

She saw his jaw lock a little, like he was debating something. “No Commander.”

She wasn’t sure if she believed it, but she really would rather he scream at her here, she probably deserves it, but in front of the Clan leaders, she could not let is go unanswered and the last thing she wanted, was to upset Clarke further.

Lexa gave a slight nod in acceptance.

“Come, I will escort you to the throne room.”

Lexa went to turn but noticed Bellamy was not following.

“Is there something else?” Lexa said confused.

Bellamy shifted a little where he stood, bringing his hand to scratch the back of his neck nervously. “Erm, I spoke to Aria and she said that you had Clarke’s sketch book. I kinda made her a promise I’d get it for her.” 

Her stomach dropped and she felt a lump form in her throat as she tries to speak, but nothing comes out when she opens her mouth. She finally manages to swallow and say “I am not quite sure where Clarke would have left it, but I’ll see what I can do.” That was a lie, it was under Clarke’s pillow, there wasn’t a night that had gone by, where she hasn’t fallen asleep to looking through Clarke’s drawings in the candle light, it was how she still felt close, connected to Clarke. 

Bellamy nodded in acceptance and she went to turn. This time Bellamy followed. She walked the long way, giving herself an extra minute to collect herself before she had to enter, she had not been expecting that, she would have rather, Bellamy shouted at her again. His words hurt, but Clarke asking for her sketchbook back hurt more. The only thing Lexa clung to was that she never asked for the watch. Was that deliberate? Was that a sign from Clarke that there was still a chance? Or did she just not think as Bellamy was leaving to ask him? Maybe she didn’t want him to know that she had even given it to Lexa. 

Before Lexa could let herself over analyse, what Clarke did ask for and what she didn’t any longer, she is met with the doors to the throne room. 

\----------------------------------------

The discussions last long into the day, they break for lunch and continue after. She has to admit, she is highly impressed with Bellamy’s diplomatic skills, he would make a great ambassador, if Skaikru were to ever join the coalition. 

The basic terms had been agreed, when and where and who can trespass on land. It is decided, the Clans and Skaikru may travel, however they do at their own risk and if harmed then the clan or skaikru are not held accountable, only those who did the act. They could not bring mountain weapons from now onto any land but Skaikru’s own. Etc.

Some Clans still have been interested in trading with Skaikru, even though they are not a member. Bellamy offered for any of their people who may be interested to join them for medical training, something called plumbing and a couple other things Lexa can’t remember the name of, she found it hard to keep her focus during the meeting, her mind often wondering to a certain blonde. By the end of the day, it was agreed that trade could be agreed on at a later date with the individual clans in a separate agreement. 

There was still many terms and agreements to go over tomorrow and Lexa was unsure if Bellamy had any terms of his own. She knew a strong amount of the Clans wanted to have an agreement where Skaikru will join if the lands are under threat, she can already hear Bellamy’s answer, but she knows that it is still a debate she will have to deal with tomorrow. 

\--------------------------------------------------

As she is walking along the hall to her room after dinner, she soon hears little footsteps padding after her. A smile creeps onto her face and she slows, allowing the little legs to catch up. 

Skaikru had joined for dinner and she surprisingly liked the guy who they had called Miller. Bellamy again impressed her with his skills over dinner, laughing by the end of it, with many of the leaders. She was slowly beginning to see what Clarke saw in him. 

“Hey Lex,” He said casually and sweetly as he fell into step with her.

“Hey.” She said smiling down at the little bundle of joy bouncing next to her. “I thought you weren’t going to leave dinner until you finished that entire chocolate cake yourself?” She asked with her eyebrows raised and looking amused at the memory of his determination. 

He rubbed his belly. “Well, you know what ma always says.” And they said in union; “you have eyes bigger than your stomach.” They both let out a laugh. It seemed all three siblings had a love for food. Not so much anymore for Lexa, since she became the commander.

As they reached Lexa’s room, Noah didn’t wait for an invite and slid in through the door. Lexa saw her guards who had been following take their usual positions.

The fire had already been lit, but Lexa wondered around lighting a few candles to add to the glow of the fire. As Lexa lit her last candle, she suddenly became aware of Noah’s odd behaviour, he was always so relaxed, but now he sat at the edge of the sofa, acting odd. She walked over to where he sat and notice the piece of paper he had rolled up like a scroll. She sat on the chair and raised an eyebrow confused. 

“Everything ok?” She asked slowly.

“Ermm, well, I know you have been sad lately, since Clarke left and I wanted to do something to make you feel better. So, I made you this.” He said thoughtfully. Passing what he was holding to Lexa, going a little shy and nervous as she took it and unravelled it. 

Noah had always been so observant and empathetic; he had an old sole. Lexa was always aware he was smarter than people gave him credit and absorbed everything going on around him. 

Lexa’s heart melted as she looked over his caring gesture.

“I know when you saw Clarke’s drawings you would always smile, or when you were watching Clarke draw, or when you were just watching Clarke do anything.” Lexa gave him a playful glare and he let out a chuckle. And she couldn’t help but smirk.

In front of her was a drawing of Noah’s own, it was their home back in the village, with ma, pa, Aria, Noah and herself, but next to Lexa was also Clarke and for some reason a goat had made it into the picture, which Lexa could only smile at. 

Lexa gave Noah the biggest smile, knowing that was his intention and she couldn’t get over just how kind and sweet this little boy was. 

“Thank you, Noah, it was just what I needed.” She said honestly. It hurt to think that this picture may never come true, but just the fact Noah had done this for her made her smile. 

Noah jumped up from where he sat and went to hug his big sister. As he pulled away, he whispered into Lexa’s ear. “It’s ok if you want to marry Clarke too, Ma say’s I’ll meet someone else when I’m older, so I have to let you have her.”

After his last words, he disappeared across the hall to his room. Lexa felt her cheeks go hot at the mention of a union, her heart was beating a little quicker and she had a nervous sensation in her stomach, she was glad Noah had left, so he didn’t see the effects of his words. But as quickly as it happened it was gone, and she was reminded Clarke was no longer hers to have. 

\-----------------------------------

By the next evening the peace treaty was fully agreed and it had been written up and signed by all the clans, either by their leader or the ambassador. King Roan had left a new ambassador, before he left to return to sort things out in Azgeda, the day before Skaikru had arrived. It was agreed Bellamy could sign it as a representative of Wanheda.

It was now the following morning and Lexa waited with Aria by her side, outside the base of the tower for the Skaikru delegation to arrive and depart.

“Lexa, are you sure about this?” Aria said with concerned eyes. 

“Aria, we agreed last night, please, I need this, I have to try.” Lexa reasoned. Aria let out a sigh in defeat, knowing once Lexa had made her mind up that was it.

Lexa’s parents and Noah had already left on their way back home that morning, ready to prepare the fields for spring. 

It wasn’t long until Bellamy, Octavia and Lincoln walked out with the other members behind them. 

Bellamy stopped in front of them. “Commander, thank you so much –“ But his thanks was cut short when his eyes took in what was before him. Lexa noticed his eyebrows furrow. 

Around them was Indra and her people from Ton DC, preparing to get on their horses and holding Skaikru’s horses ready for them. But as well as them, there was also 6 guards, readily mounted, and the reins of two horses, saddled in Aria’s hand. 

“I will be returning with you to deliver the good news. Indra has informed me of the celebration that will be held on your return.” Lexa announced.

She saw some of the Skaikru shift nervously. Octavia’s gaze flicked to her brothers, clearly unsure on how he would respond. Lexa also curious, half expecting him to have another outburst, the other half thinking he will just refuse to leave until she changed her decision.

“Very well commander, it will be an honour to have you visit Arkadia.” Even his own people seemed shocked in his response. Lexa gave a nod and before long they were on their way, her Commander sash draped over her, to fight off the chill of the cool morning air.

\---------------------------------


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm kinda super nervous to see what you guys think of the next couple of chapters!

Chapter 8  
~Lexa

The ride had been oddly pleasant. Bellamy hadn’t spoken much, but Miller was very talkative with his boyfriend about their life before the ground. Lexa was intrigued, she wanted to know everything about where Clarke was born, where she had grown up. So, she kept them talking and to even more of her surprise, she found herself laughing, and telling stories of her own. 

  
Skaikru were different to her people, they feared her more, she could see it in their eyes. Her people feared but they also held respect and admiration. Although Skaikru can be more fearful, once she gives them a piece, an inch, they go a mile. They relax like they think it fine now. Her people always stay cautious, no matter how she treated them, it would not change. But Skaikru, it is like they know she is in charge, but now she has extended her arm, they treat her like she is anyone else. Her mind went to Clarke, how no one would dare challenge her like she had, no one would dare put their hands on her, no one would dare even call her Lexa. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

  
It had been a long time since she came here, the first time under very different circumstances. People filtered in and out of their huts as they weaved their way to the open gates. They glanced at her warily, many disappeared inside to avoid her gaze, others followed them through the gates. 

As they stopped through the gates, she could see some sort of platform finishing being built to one side. The other holding tables ready for the food and drink that would line them soon. The days grew longer but it would still be dark soon and the celebrations would begin. 

But the only thing, the only person on her mind, was the one that also had her heart. Her eyes never stopped scanning for the ones she needed to see. Eventually her attention got pulled as she dismounted her horse and was greeted by Marcus Kane. 

They had drawn a group around them, people looking at one another nervously, unsure, uncertain, she could see jaws and fists clenched. The tension was thick in the air as Marcus held his arm out in greeting, like everyone was holding their breath. Lexa didn’t realise how long had passed, until she gave Marcus her full attention. She reached for his forearm and clasped it tightly, a smile forming on her face mirroring him.  
  
“It is a pleasure to be here.” She said in response to his welcoming. 

She felt people let out a breath but the tension was still high. Usually by now her people would have bowed, but she had to remind herself, they were not her people. 

As Marcus turned to the crowd to introduce her, she realised maybe this was her chance to build amends, to create a similar bond she had with her own people. To earn their respect. 

“The commander of the twelves clans has accepted our invitation to join us in our celebration of peace.” No one said anything still the same blank looks on their faces.

  
“You have travelled far.” All eyes were on her, she still held the same command, demanded the same respect with her voice as her subjects. This was what she was born for. Marcus looked a little surprised by her voice, but waited patiently for her to continue. “You have lost _far_ more. We all share the same past, one where our ancestors destroyed one another. We will _not_ let the past repeat itself, we will do better than those that came before us. Together, we can create a new future, a _better_ future, one where our children know not of fear, but of love. Of friendship. Hate cannot drive out hate.”

She made sure she reached every set of eyes she could. She could see as they relax further as some even nodded along, but all were transfixed on her, she didn’t even have to barely speak above a whisper to be heard. They all followed every sound, every syllable. As everyone did when she spoke. As she did when Clarke spoke.

“I do not expect you to forget your journey that led you to today, but I ask you to learn from it, learn from our mistakes, so we can work together to not allow anymore. Peace is not a gift given, it cannot be bought, it takes work, dedication, hope. It takes more _strength_ to put down a weapon than to pick one up. Tonight, to remember those we have lost and those who we will soon find; we celebrate the end of violence and enjoy the quiet of the future.” 

With the last words the grounds held in silence, the crowd had grown as she spoke, but not with the person she came to see. 

  
She heard the cheer and roar of her people that had travelled with her, then with the Trikru dotted around and then before she knew it, by everyone. 

\------------------------------------------------------

  
“Raven hasn’t seen Clarke either.” Aria said as she joined Lexa, where she watched two Skaikru children play with sticks like they were swords in front of her. 

Maybe Clarke did see her, maybe she is already miles away from here by now. Disappointment washed over her, but she didn’t let it show. Bellamy seemed to believe she wouldn’t be far. 

Speaking of Bellamy, she noticed him exit the inside of the metal container, striding to someone setting up some wires. Whatever he said, they just shook their head. He grabbed himself a drink from the table that was now full and glanced around the people. After Lexa’s words, the people seemed to be calmer, taking less notice of her, Lexa wouldn’t go as far as to say welcome her, but she didn’t feel angry eyes digging into the side of her anymore, at least not as frequently. 

She left Aria going to join Bellamy’s side, getting her own drink.

“Thank you for agreeing to allow me to join your journey home.” Lexa said trying to extend a branch. 

Bellamy’s harsh voice and gaze, made her slightly flinch, not expecting such a cold response. “I didn’t do it for you.”  
  
Lexa took a moment keeping calm.

“No?” She asked

“No, I did it for Clarke, she may hate me for allowing you to come, but I can’t keep seeing her like this, seeing you can’t make it worse.” He left not giving her a chance to even open her mouth. 

She went back to Aria, watching the people prepare around her, many started drinking and laughing in groups. Suddenly, a boom rang through her, instantly, she reached for her sword, but noticed it was not there, it was now in her tent that sat outside of the walls. But then the vibrations turned into a constant rhythm. She spun around towards the platform. 

A laugh rung out that was approaching. “Chill Commando, it’s just some base music, we’ll get to the good stuff soon though, give jasper a minute to get his playlist going.” 

“Playlist?” She heard Aria ask from beside her. She saw a tint of pink reach Raven’s cheeks as she saw Ravens eyes meet Aria’s next to her. It confused her even more, when she saw Aria also blushing slightly.

“Erm, yeah, you know music.” Lexa did the same as Aria and gave a nod, assuming they would understand soon. 

Raven and Aria fell into conversation but Lexa’s became lost in her own thoughts of Clarke again. Being so close but she never had felt further. 

\---------------------------------------------

~Clarke

The day of the festival, went by fast, she decided to walk outside, her people were happy to see her, but she still kept her distance. There was now a wooden stage beginning to be built against the fence, looking out onto the rest of the outdoor space of the Ark. The Piano, some drums and a guitar were sat waiting to go onto it and a bunch of wires, leading into to some sort of amp and a microphone were with them. There were big spot lights either side of the stage ready for when it drew dark this evening. 

Clarke decided to practice a little more and soon the small window that led to the room she was practicing in showed her the sun had set. Music had begun to flow threw the Ark, and a crowd of voices and laughter soon came to Clarkes ears. 

She wondered if Bellamy was back yet, he would be looking for her to tell her what happened. She would go looking for him, but Monty would be expecting her on stage soon and she wanted to stop in to say hi to her mum on the way. 

She had tried to convince her mother to join, but she said she would rather Jackson enjoy his night. 

As Clarke was leaving her mother she bumped in to Raven. “Hey where are you heading off too.” Clarke asked, never seeing Raven quite so flustered. 

Raven took a moment to catch her breath, “I am late for an appointment with your mum about my leg, and I want to get back to the festival as soon as I can. Bellamy bought us the best gift.” Raven said grinning ear to ear.

“Oh yeah what’s that?” Clarke asked, not sure if Raven was exaggerating. 

“My future wife Clarke, the woman of my dreams, my warrior goddess...”

“Aria!” Clarke practically yelled in excitement, cutting Raven off, knowing she would keep going on.

Raven nodded. “Bellamy has been searching for you everywhere, he thinks you’ve disappeared, seemed like whatever he had to say was pretty urgent Clarke. I’d find him.” 

“Thanks, I’ll hopefully cross paths with him on the way to the festival, I’m going to be late.” Clarke said noticing the time.

As she came out of the Ark, Monty waved her over from the side of the stage. She quickly tried to scan the crowd, trying to spot Bellamy or get a glimpse of Aria, but there were too many people. It looked like everyone from the Ark was here as well as at least 100 Trikru. She was surprised they were not falling out of the gate. 

“Hey you ready?” Monty asked.

“As I’ll ever be.” Clarke responded taking a mic. She figured whatever Bellamy had to tell her could wait five minutes. 

Monty nodded up to Kane who was on stage, Clarke had caught on to what he was saying, here and there, it sounded like he was talking about a new beginning, “from tomorrow thanks to the treaty we can start our new lives on the ground, our future. And now I would like to introduce the person that made it all possible. Our light in the darkness... Clarke.” Kane said.

“That’s our cue.” Monty nodded the direction of the stage to Clarke. 

~Lexa

Aria was talking to Lexa about something beside her, where they stood each with a drink in their hands, towards the back of the crowd. Lexa barely registered a word, constantly scanning looking for blonde hair that was Clarkes. Lexa had never wanted even a glimpse of someone so much, but at the same time been just as terrified. Scared of Clarkes reaction, but she needed to see her, she had to try and explain to Clarke, hope there is a chance for them.

Lexa had not been listening to Marcus, until she caught on that he was talking about Clarke. “Our light in the darkness... Clarke.”

Lexa froze, her eyes locked on the stage. There was a lot of people in between, but it was high enough, for a clear view. 

Lexa felt her insides twist. First came the skinny boy, Lexa knew as Monty. But then there was Clarke, it hurt Lexa, at how tired Clarke looked. But still Clarke was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. 

“Lexa. Breathe.” She heard Aria say from beside her. She hadn’t realised she had been holding it. 

“Today has been a great step for us, one towards a safer, happier future. But I promise you, no matter what comes our way, we will overcome it as we always have, together. I once drew strength, from a song you sang for me, now in this song I make a promise to you.”

Clarke nodded to Monty and he began to play. 

When Clarke began, Lexa felt exhilarated, her heart pounding for the woman she loved on stage. Lexa was in complete awe of her. Her voice like an angel. Lexa knew in that moment she would never hear a more beautiful sound. 

https://youtu.be/FBuIBaDSOa4 

  
_You're broken down and tired_  
_Of living life on a merry go round_  
_And you can't find the fighter_  
_But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out_  
_And move mountains_  
_We gonna walk it out_  
_And move mountains_

Lexa closed her eyes, taking in Clarke’s voice and her words, never wanting to forget the sound. 

_And I'll rise up_  
_I'll rise like the day_  
_I'll rise up_  
_I'll rise unafraid_  
_I'll rise up_  
_And I'll do it a thousand times again_  
_And I'll rise up_  
_High like the waves_  
_I'll rise up_  
_In spite of the ache_  
_I'll rise up_  
_And I'll do it a thousand times again_

When Lexa opened her eyes, she looked around in amazement, it was so quiet she could hear a knife drop. Everyone was mesmerised by Clarke and her words, her strength. Even Trikru. 

  
_For you_  
_For you_  
_For you_  
_For you_

Lexa didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much, to miss them even when she had been with her. Her eyes were now locked on Clarke and she never wanted to lose sight of her again.

_When the silence isn't quiet_  
_And it feels like it's getting hard to breathe_  
_And I know you feel like dying_  
_But I promise we'll take the world to its feet_  
_And move mountains_  
_Bring it to its feet_  
_And move mountains_

_And I'll rise up_  
_I'll rise like the day_  
_I'll rise up_  
_I'll rise unafraid_  
_I'll rise up_  
_And I'll do it a thousand times again_

_For you_  
_For you_  
_For you_  
_For you_

_All we need, all we need is hope_  
_And for that we have each other_  
_And for that we have each other_  
_And we will rise_  
_We will rise_  
_We'll rise, oh, oh_  
_We'll rise_

_I'll rise up_  
_Rise like the day_  
_I'll rise up_  
_In spite of the ache_  
_I will rise a thousand times again_  
_And we'll rise up_  
_High like the waves_  
_We'll rise up_  
_In spite of the ache_  
_We'll rise up_  
_And we'll do it a thousand times again_

_For you_  
_For you_  
_For you_  
_For you_

  
_Ah, ah, ah, ah_

  
Clarke came to an end and there was a long silence. Then a roar rose from the crowd, clapping and shouting. Her people loved her, they believed in her, she was their northern star, the brightness in the night, leading their way. 

Lexa’s eyes became watery and she couldn’t contain her smile. But then ... she felt her smile slipping and her heart stopped, as blue eyes locked to green.  


☆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added the link in their incase you wanted to hear the song yourselves to envison it better! Let me know if there is a problem with the link


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter 9  
~Lexa

She saw pain flash across Clarke’s face. Where there had once been a smile, was now a slightly open mouth in shock. Her eyebrows hunched and her eyes filled with hurt. 

The mic fell from Clarke’s hand, sending a terrible sound through the crowd, causing a deafening silence. Then Clarke broke their gaze and turned down the steps of the stage, beginning to weave in and out to the crowd. 

Lexa noticed her legs moving before she could even think. People had to practically jump out of the way for her, some already parting when they saw her coming. 

\-------------------------------------------------  
~Clarke

Clarke couldn’t breathe, she had to get out of here. Her people looked confused as she was crashing and stumbling into them, she felt trapped, loosing which way to go to escape. 

When she felt a hand pull on her wrist, she instantly knew that touch, those slender fingers. She could even smell her before she turned around, to meet the green eyes that had haunted her since she stepped into that damned tent. 

She had never seen such a mixture of emotion in Lexa’s eyes before, Clarke was a little take back that she even would in front of so many people.

“Please Clarke give me a chance to explain.” Anger washed over Clarke at Lexa’s word. 

“Explain what?! There is nothing to explain Lexa, I understand what happened completely.” She said pulling her arm free.

“I made a mistake, by the time I realised, you were already gone. But I came back Clarke, I came Back.” Lexa repeated. Clarke could see a tear running down the crease of Lexa’s nose.

“I don’t want to hear it. You didn’t believe in me.” Clarke said, her own tears escaping her, this is what she had tried to avoid for days, her people seeing her weak. She had to get out of here. 

Just as she nearly made it to the edge of the crowd towards the entrance of the Ark, the keys of the piano being played made her freeze in her step. She knew that tune.

Clarke closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. She needed to keep walking. But before she could take a step.

¤ https://youtu.be/ddu2uXp9h3o 

_Everybody needs inspiration_

  
Her head whirled around to face the stage at the sound of the voice that joined the melody. Clarke couldn’t believe her eyes or her ears. Was Lexa singing? 

  
_Everybody needs a song_   
_A beautiful melody_   
_When the night's so long_

  
Clarke’s heart was racing.

  
_'Cause there is no guarantee_   
_That this life is easy_   
_Yeah, when my world is falling apart_   
_When there's no light to break up the dark_   
_That's when I, I_   
_I look at you_

Lexa raised her gaze from where it had been on the keys, to lock eyes with Clarke _._

_When the waves_   
_Are flooding the shore and I can't_   
_Find my way home anymore_   
_That's when I, I_   
_I look at you_

Again, Lexa’s eyes met hers and she felt her heart actually skip a beat at Lexa’s words. Her voice was so beautiful. 

_When I look at you, I see forgiveness_   
_I see the truth_   
_You love me for who I am_   
_Like the stars hold the moon_   
_Right there where they belong_   
_And I know I'm not alone_

  
Clarke could feel people’s eyes flickering between her and Lexa, but she didn’t care. As the song went on, it became more and more like there was no one there but them.

  
_Yeah, when my world is falling apart_   
_When there's no light to break up the dark_   
_That's when I, I_   
_I look at you_

  
_When the waves_   
_Are flooding the shore and I can't_   
_Find my way home anymore_   
_That's when I, I_   
_I look at you_

  
_You appear just like a dream to me_   
_Just like Kaleidoscope colors that_   
_Cover me, all I need_   
_Every breath that I breathe_   
_Don't you know you're beautiful?_

  
_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

  
_When the waves_   
_Are flooding the shore and I can't_   
_Find my way home anymore_   
_That's when I, I_   
_I look at you_   
_I look at you_

  
_You appear just like a dream_   
_To me_

Clarke let out a breath she had been holding. She didn’t know how to feel, she had been entranced in Lexa’s voice. But when she saw Lexa stand, taking a step in her direction, the bubble shattered and reality hit her. She automatically took a step back herself, although Lexa was all the way on the stage.

She didn’t know what else to do, but she just looked at Lexa and shook her head. She couldn’t do this. She turned and went straight back into the Ark, finding her room and locking the door. She crawled into bed and wept, emotion flooding her. The agony of being so close to Lexa, how easy it would have been to just reach out and touch her, knowing she was here. Was becoming unbearable for Clarke. 

She knew what it took for Lexa to sing, what it meant to her, she had tried bringing it up herself during the last few days she was there. Lexa had just simply shrugged it off and said, ‘She hadn’t had a reason to sing.’ Clarke was her reason and it just made her cry more. She didn’t just sing for her, she sang to her. 

...........

Later on, a knock came against her door, Clarke could hear outside growing quiet. She planned to just ignore them, she thought there was no one she wanted to see right now. But she was wrong when she heard her voice. 

“It’s me.” The voice met her through the room. 

“Aria.” Clarke said in a whisper to herself. 

Clarke managed to pull herself up and open the door.

As she met Aria’s gaze, she couldn’t help but crumble and fell to the floor. Aria half caught her and held her in her arms as they sat on their knees. 

Clarke was unsure how much time had passed, but soon she was being guided to the sofa and pulled back into Aria.

“Clarke, I know am pretty incredible, but I didn’t think you’d miss me this much.” Aria said slightly playfully but cautious into Clarke’s hair.

Clarke couldn’t fight the smile and the weak laugh that escaped her as she carried on holding Aria.

Clarke pulled back and Aria got a good look at her. “You look terrible.”

“Thanks” Clarke couldn’t help but laugh, Aria always had this effect on her. 

“No wonder you left Clarke, this lighting does nothing to help your complexion, you look like you haven’t seen sun in ages.” Aria continued.

“Wow you are really making me feel better Ar.” Clarke said sarcastically. 

“Sometimes you have to feel worse until you can feel better.” Aria said with a shrug.

“It’s good to see you.” Clarke responded.

“You too, Ma and Pa and Noah told me to say hello. They have headed back home now.” Aria updated her.

“Is that where you will be heading as well?” Clarke tried to say now her voice was becoming less shaky.

“It seems I am needed elsewhere.” Aria said in return. 

“Where?” Clarke asked, her mind not with it to pick up on what Aria was implying.

“Clarke you idiot, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Clarke was surprised, but she had never needed someone so much as she needed Aria right now. She took Aria into a hug.

“Do you think Raven will be as generous with her hugs.” Aria said as they pulled apart. Clarke pushed her arm playfully. 

Suddenly the room fell serious, them both thinking of the same person. Aria could see the question in her eyes. 

“She’s leaving at first light.” Aria answered. 

“She asked me to give you this.” Aria pulled Clarkes dads watch from her pocket. “She said she is sorry for letting you down. That the fear of loosing you made her loose her other senses. She understands how you feel and that she is happy that you and your people are safe, that even if you are not part of the coalition, she will treat your people, as her people.”

Clarke took the watch into her hands. The only thought she could think was that Lexa had given up on her, she didn’t even realise how much that would hurt her until it happened. She thought nothing could make her feel worse. As much she knew she had lost Lexa the day in the tower, she never really felt like she was losing her completely until now. 

Monty’s words flashed through her mind from the other night. 

Without thinking Clarke was walking towards the gate, the area was empty now, just the guards on the gates. Miller appeared out of the darkness. She could see Lexa’s tent pitched towards the tree line. The gates always remained open now people lived outside of it. But she still stopped as she reached miller.

The air was a little nippy without her coat, but each day was now getting warmer.

He reached up and gave her a squeezed on her shoulder. “Sometimes the hardest thing is to let yourself have happiness Clarke.” Was all he said before he turned back to climb the lookout tower.

Clarke continued on, not wanting to stop in case she changed her mind. Part of her knew they could overcome this, that she didn’t want Lexa to give up on them. But right now, all she knew was that Lexa was here and she could see her and tomorrow she would be gone.

As she approached, she saw the two guards guarding Lexa’s tent. There was no light on inside. Clarke’s steps didn’t falter, she went straight passed the guards, opening the flap, knowing they wouldn’t stop her. 

It took a moment for Clarke to adjust to the darkness. From the sound of Lexa’s breathing, she knew she was awake. And since she did not have a sword at her throat, Clarke could only assume Lexa knew it was her. 

Clarke moved towards the bed. She slipped out of her untied boots and lifted up the furs. Lexa pulled her in, and Clarke berried her face into the crook of her neck, taking a deep breath in that was Lexa. 

Tears streamed out and she was soon shaking with sobs. Lexa held her, rubbing soothing circles into her back, her lips against the top of Clarkes head. 

Clarke wanted to scream at Lexa, not for what she did but how she ruined everything they had. Clarke realised she was more upset with what she had lost, than what Lexa even did. Whereas after the mountain, Clarke was upset over the betrayal. Now she was just upset that Lexa actions caused her to lose the most important person to her, the person she wanted more than anything. Lexa ruined her happiness, their happiness. 

But here she was, clutching desperately to Lexa, lay in the only arms that made her feel safe.

\------------------------------------------

~Lexa

Lexa held her long into the night, until Clarke fell asleep against her. It crushed her knowing she had caused this. 

When Lexa woke, she found the weight against her gone, and the bed beside her cold. But left on the pillow was a note and to Lexa’s surprise, Clarkes fathers watch. 

Hope flooded through her, at the sight of it. She quickly sat up opening the note.

**_Lex,_ **

**_You shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. But each piece still belongs to you. I am just not ready to let you put them back together again._ **

**_Not yet._ **

**_Yours,_ **   
**_Clarke_ **

A tear rolled down Lexa’s cheek and she reread it a few more times, and then held the letter tightly to her chest. The letter wasn’t Clarke, but it was all she needed to keep going right now. Now she needed to figure out a way to forgive herself, as when or if the time came, she wanted to be able to let herself be happy with Clarke, for Clarke.

☆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again let me know if the link doesn't work. 
> 
> I can't wait to hear what your thoughts are on these two chapters! So plese leave a comment and let me know!!!


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess this is where part 2 really begins. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> I am currently having a new kitchen fitted so I may be distracted for a while, but I will keep trying to post often!

Chapter 10  
~Clarke

6 Months later...

Clarke loved the feeling of the wind sweeping past her as she rode Cleo through the trees. Clarke had found her later that day after Lexa had returned to Polis, with her sketch book sealed tightly on a satchel that hung beside her.

Octavia raced beside her, the rover finding a different path that was clearer. But it didn’t take any of them very long to get to the dock at the river. 

It had taken Sinclair, Raven and many others months, but it was finally ready. Murphy had resurfaced with a Trikru girl named Emori, they had given them directions to a harbour, where Skaikru salvaged old parts and found a boat good enough to repair. 

Clarke slid off her horse and gave Cleo to Dillon, a tall skinny boy, who was always so eager to please Clarke. He had the biggest beaming smile, that matched his big brown eyes, and was about thirteen, just reaching up to the height of Clarkes shoulders. “Thank you, Dillion.” She continued passed him and walked up the ramp onto the boat. The boat was an old fishing trawler, she was excited for their new way to catch a larger number of fish, meaning they could use it for trading, for more supplies for the winter. But that was not the purpose of today.

There were already 6 crew on board. Several members of her people had argued for the chance. A boat seemed a dream from space, similar to how once people in the past, on boats, had dreamt of the stars. 

Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, Jasper, Miller and Murphy bordered. “All aboard.” Jasper yelled out to no one in particular. 

She could feel the excitement vibrating off all of them. The plan was to follow the river to the coast and sail down and test different land, to see if it was a match to grow some medicinal herbs they needed. Clarke would offer the village who’s land it was either part of the medicine for their own people or anything else they may need. 

But really everyone just wanted to just go exploring. It would be the furthest Clarke had been from Arkadia in a couple of months, she felt a little nervous at the prospect but she could feel the rush of excitement as the anchor was lifted and they set sail.

When they reached the mouth of the river, they were all amazed at the never-ending blue of the ocean. They had been on a few trips to the beach already, meeting Luna again and her people. But being on top of the waves in such vastness was different. 

\------------------------------------------------------------

Before long, Clarke was bent down, gathering some soil, dipping a test into it, hoping for it to turn purple. This was their third stop and when Clarke saw it darken to a plum colour, she wanted to dance. Her shoulders relaxed and she let a small smile slip onto her face in the victory. But before she could even announce her find to the others that were scattered around her. A child came racing out of the bush knocking her over. The kid met her eyes where he fell in the collision. The boy looked terrified, unsure of what to make of Clarke. Soon Lincoln was crouched in front of the boy asking if he was ok in grounder.

Lincoln’s tattoos and soft voice, calmed the boy just enough to speak. “My village .... they are under attack.” She translated.

Clarke spun, unsheathing her sword, running in the direction the boy had come from. Her friends were close on her heels. 

Screams came louder and soon Clarke saw buildings on fire. 

To Clarkes left was a boat in the distance and smaller boats pulled up on shore. Ahead and to her right was a village that over looked the water. Clarke ducked as a black dot flew from the boat in the water. Hitting down trees far inland. 

“Holy shit, was that a cannon... omg are they pirates!” Jasper squealed, too excited for the disaster that was unfolding before them. 

Clarke didn’t let a second go by, before she charged forward. She heard bullets fire around her. Bellamy hitting his target every time. The attackers from the boat had black smeared coating their facers so it was easy to distinguish them, although Clarke could see little of the Trikru villages, a few young men and woman lay scattered, fallen to the enemy, but no more than a few. 

It didn’t take long before the invaders had either fallen to her swords, or shot down by Miller or Bellamy. There had only been about 25, but a couple had pistols of their own. A few fled to their boats and headed back to the main one in the water, who must have stopped firing when they saw their people returning. 

Clarke held her sword against the throat of the last survivor on land, who was clutching a bullet wound at their side. “Who are you?” She asked. She could feel the blood that was now coated parts of her face from the attack. The smell was too familiar, fresh iron, it was so rich she could taste it in her mouth. She wanted to gag, it had been a long time since she had even seen blood this close and it was too soon. But a she had done so many times before, she shoved the thought back and focused on what needed to be done.

Clarke saw recognition in the woman’s eyes. Understanding Clarke. But the woman did not speak. 

Clarke pressed her sword a little harder, drawing blood. Clarke nearly stepped back startled at the sound of the woman’s voice. “You cannot stop us, we are just the first, we will come in more numbers than you can imagine and we will not stop until we claim your lands.”

“Clarke?” Miller said crouching closer towards the girl with intrigue, not worried too much by her words. “Is it just me or does she sound British to you?” The woman’s eyes widened in shock at their knowledge. Before Clarke could ask her anything else, the woman fell lifeless.

The boy must have followed them and ran into Clarke once again. But this time wrapping his arms around her middle. And just as fast as it happened, her ran to what seemed to be his mother, appearing from a stair way leading into the ground and wrapped his arms around her. 

More grounders revealed themselves, but all look hesitant to get closer, barely moving, uncertainty and concern on their faces. 

“You have nothing to fear from us!” Clarke said sheathing her sword. Motioning to the others to lower their weapons. 

A few moment’s more and a few words from an elderly man, the grounders struck into action, running to put out the fires. The elderly man, with a stick to help him walk, approached Clarke and the group. 

“Skaikru, my village and I are now in your debt.” He said with a slight bowl of his head. 

“My name is Emmet, I am the leader of my village.”

“Clarke.” Clarke replied, reaching out her arm to him in greeting. 

However, he did not take it, he stood seeming a little shocked. The words Wanheda rumbled through the people. It had been a long time since anyone had called her by that name. 

To Clarke’s surprise, one by one the people kneeled, even the elder tried to get as low as he could. Aria had told her, that as the new tale of her triumph over the mighty Azgeda, swept the Clans, the people now respected her spirit as they did of the commanders. But Clarke didn’t quite grasp what that meant until now. 

“Please there is no need to kneel. But do you know who they were and why they attacked?” Clarke asked, as the other villages slowly rose and continue putting their village back in order.

“The Commander will be here any moment; I think it would be wise to wait for her.” He told her.

Clark felt her body go numb but her chest went tight. Silence grew, whilst Clarke tried to comprehend what he just said. Eventually she found her voice. “The Commander? Why is she here?” Clarke asked confused.

“Over the past two weeks there has been three other villages attacked, not far from our own. Unfortunately, they were not as lucky and there were little survivors. The Commander has been visiting them, bringing warriors in defence of another attack. We sent our fastest rider to her last known location when we first spotted the boat and knew an attack was coming.” He explained. 

Before Clarke could even begin to process his words. She heard dozens of hoofs tearing up the ground, fast approaching from the other side of the village. As the part appeared, they fell to a trot as Clarke watched them take in the scene around them. 

Clarke’s heart stopped as she saw the red sash sway in the wind, working as a hood, hiding most of the rider’s face. Clarke didn’t need to see her to know she was here; she could feel her in the air.

Clarke stood frozen as horses approached, where she stood with the leader. As Lexa climbed of her horse, she also pulled her hood back. Her hair was different, it was patterned the same, but all pulled back, wrapped in her own hair to hold it there. It was the first time she had seen her in her war paint since the mountain. 

The elder and the few people that stood with him, bowed before their Heda. “Commander thank you for getting here so quickly.” The Elder said respectfully. 

“It seems our swords were not needed.” Lexa said towards the Elder, yet to make eye contact with Clarke, even though she stood an arm’s length away. Clarke searched Lexa for her eyes, she knew she would be able to sense Clarke looking at her, as she always could. But she refused to look in her direction.

“We were fortunate to have Skaikru passing by, more fortunate than we even knew Heda.” Lexa looked at him confused on the last part.

“Swords may have done little against their weapons.” Lexa gave a slow nod in understanding. 

Lexa turned to face her now and the other Skaikru behind her. “It seems as though once again we are in your debt. I thank you for what you have done in here.” She looked at everyone but her.

“There is no debt Commander, we would never let innocents be harmed if we can help.” Clarke responded formally to the leader to the twelve Clans.

"Why does everyone say she’s so scary.” Clarke heard the little boy from earlier squeak to his mother, where people were watching now the fires were out, not far behind the Commanders group.  
A smile swept Clarke’s face in amusement, forgetting for a moment, the dread that had filled her of Lex and she walked over to the little boy and knelt before him. He reminded her of Noah but was a few years younger. She could now finally feel Lexa’s eyes on her. 

The boy visibly gulped but kept his chin held high, where he stood in front of his mother.

“Would you like to know a secret?” The boy nodded his head a little to enthusiastically. Clarke laughed in response. And leaned in and whispered next to his ear, so only they could hear. “I am actually not scary at all. My friend Raven calls me cuddly Clarke.” The boys eyes grew big.

“Really?” He asked.

“Really.” Clarke said smiling as she stood back up. “Here, I think you might like this.” She said pulling out a lollipop, Arkadia now made.

“What is it?” he asked, looking at the small object. 

“You suck on it, like this.” Clarke pulled another out for herself and popped it into her mouth. The boy copied.

“This is the best thing I have ever tasted.” The little boy told his mother.

Clarke laughed at how happy he was and then turned back to wear the village leader, the Commander and her friends had been watching. 

“So, who’s been telling lies about how scary I am.” Clarke said jokingly to no one in particular.

“Well it can’t be the mountain men, because you know, you killed them all. I’d have to go with Azgeda, you left some of them alive at least, didn’t you Clarke?” Murphy chimed in smugly. 

Miller shoved him. “Don’t be a dick murphy.” 

Clarkes smiled faded at his words, but she shrugged them off and faced back to the elder. Feeling her earlier shock over Lexa lessen and her mind back focused.

“We were not actually here walking by, we are looking for a little land that we can grow some medicinal herbs on and I think we found it, a little due north of here.” Clarke explained. “If you allow us to use your land, we can offer you medicine in return, as well as we would need a couple of our people to live here to tend to it, so you would have their protection if you ever become under attack again?” Clarke offered.

“We are hunters and scavengers here Wanheda, we have no need of the land you speak, you are more than welcome to take it as a gift from us, for your aid here.”

“Thank you.” Clarke said with a nod. “We best take our leave, if we are to get back to Arkadia by nightfall.” Clarke said to their leader. Feeling a little petty that she was now also, refusing to look at Lexa, just because Lexa had ignored her.

As Clarke turned taking a few steps back in the direction they came. She finally heard her name from Lexa’s lips, but not the name she wanted to hear. “Wanheda. Have you received the invitation to join us at our summit, this coming full moon? All the leaders of the coalition are meeting to discuss this new threat.” 

“As you are aware commander, Skaikru are not part of the coalition.” Clarke replied formally, turning back around to finally meet her eyes. Clarke, could usually read Lexa’s eyes, but something was different, they seemed dull, empty even. 

“You could be.” Lexa said, a bit of hope laced in her voice. “We need to come together now more than ever against someone who threatens us all.” The Commander tried to argue. “Join us in Polis and accept the brand, then we can destroy this new threat together.”

“That is exactly why Skaikru will never join the coalition commander.” Clarke said pausing, trying to stay calm. “The coalition will always make decisions out of fear as they once did against my people. I bet you haven’t even considered another way. Jus drien Jus droun right?” Clarke said a little too loudly. 

Clarke could still not see Lexa’s reaction, she has either gotten better with her facade, or the time apart has damped Clarke’s ability to read Lexa.

Lexa let out a defeated sigh, barely noticeable, if Clarke wasn’t looking to intently. “The invitation to the summit still stands. I hope to see you there Clarke.” And there it was the click of the K, it was enough for all the anger to leave Clarke in that moment. She knew why Lexa was acting this way. It was Clarke’s fault not Lexa’s, she didn’t want to upset Lexa any more than she already had, but she also knew she wouldn’t be at the summit. Her people were thriving, the last thing she wanted for them was to be pulled into another war. 

Clarke managed a smile and responded. “Thank you for your invitation Commander. Maybe at a different time, it will be right for my people to join with yours.” Clarke quickly turned and walked away, scared if she stayed around Lexa any longer, she wouldn’t be able to leave.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Clarke looked out along the horizon as she breathed in the ocean air. Bellamy came to stand beside her.

“Don’t Bell, please not today.”

“I’m sorry Clarke but you know where I stand on the coalition, the opportunities it could give our people. We have created an amazing life in the past year since landing on the ground, but some of our people are itching for more. We spent our entire lives dreaming of the ground. We should be allowed to go exploring with no boundaries. If we become the thirteenth Clan, we can travel anywhere Clarke, think of the endless possibilities, the things of the old world that we can see.”

“I know Bell, Jasper has already shown me his plan of his ‘rockin roadtrip’ for when I accept the brand.” Clarke said with a laugh, hoping to lighten Bellamy’s heavy mood.

“Are you sure your feelings for ...” Clarke’s glare cut him off in his sentence. 

“This has nothing to do with Lexa.” Clarke said annoyed. “I am not going to just commit genocide again Bellamy, they don’t know what those people want or why they are here, they could be in need of help, they could be scared and desperate for a home like we were. Don’t think for second that if we came down in the exodus ship and landed safely, that the council back then wouldn’t have killed the grounders on site.” 

Clarke looked back out onto the water. “They deserve a chance to come in peace, there is more land in America than the grounders are even aware of, we both know this. No matter what the numbers they come in, they can make a home here, like we have. I can’t keep killing, we can’t keep killing. If I accept the commanders offer to become the thirteenth clan now, we will be obliged to follow the rules and join them in battle.”

“Ok Clarke, but what if they come for us.” Bellamy questioned.

“Hopefully we can try communicate with them, but as a precaution, we will add camera’s as far down the coast as we can, we can offer radios to the villages that line the water. There boats are made of wood. I will discuss with raven to begin building some flame throwers. In case they leave us no choice. But as well as the camera’s, I want us to hang white flags with them and around our camp.”

Bellamy’s eyebrow arched. “You don’t really believe they are pirates do you Clarke?” 

“I don’t know what to believe, but most travelling by water will recognise a white flag as a sign of peace.”

Bellamy nodded at the plan.

“I want us to do better, I want us to be better, since the mountain, I accepted there were no good guys. But I am fed up living in a world of hate. I choose to believe there is good in everyone, only bad decisions. I will offer them an option to make the right decision.” 

Bellamy looked at Clarke in admiration, even after everything she is choosing to believe the good in people, choosing hope over her fear. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

Clarke decided to let her horse walk slowly back to camp. She had a lot to think about. It hurt her; Lexa just acted like it was the commander talking to Wanheda. Maybe her worst fear was really true, maybe Lexa had given up on her. She couldn’t blame her. 

Lexa had written to her every week for many months, even though Clarke never responded. They were still sat unopened in a box in her hut. The Letter’s stopped coming about 7 weeks ago. Every time a messenger came, Clarke still held a little hope there would be another letter. Clarke knew it was stupid since she knew she wouldn’t have opened it even if one arrived. When the invitation came last week for the summit, the only reason it was opened was because it was read out loud by Indra. 

Before Indra had left, Clarke couldn’t help but catch her and asked how the Commander was. She had never seen Indra look so disgusted at her; she could see pain behind Indra’s eyes. Indra words have still not left Clarke; “She is but a shell of the commander I once knew, her fire drained, yet she still continues.” Was all Indra had left her with. 

Aria had left a couple of months ago, to help her parents with the crops. It took her ages to pull herself away from here, to pull herself away from Raven, each day that she planned to leave, she stayed another. Clarke told Raven she should join her, but Raven said she still had so much to do here. So, Aria left with a radio and the promise to return as soon as the last harvest was finished. Aria also seemed very invested in getting Raven to visit Polis with her, thinking some of their methods, may help her pain in her leg. 

Clarke thought about visiting Aria. But Clarke didn’t dare do anything that may change something, she felt ok, her people still needed her. It’s not that she didn’t open those letters because she hadn’t forgiven Lexa, she didn’t open them because she knew as soon as she read those words, she would be on her horse to find her, and she knew if she did that, she wouldn’t be able to pull herself away again, she would hold Lexa to her promise and lay in her arms every night. She was scared if she visited Dauriel and Thomas, that her path home wouldn’t be to Arkadia, but the path would be to the only real home she had ever known, the only home she had ever wanted. 

She knew Lexa would probably hate her by now, she hadn’t heard anything from Clarke since the letter she left on the pillow. The last thing she wanted was to cause Lexa any pain, but her people needed her and each day which has passed by, made it easier for her to stay. Eventually she had finally gotten off the rollercoaster that was Lexa and she liked the flat rode she was now on. She could now think back to the moments with Lexa and smile, she could now be around her people and breathe. She was not ready to change that yet. 

Seeing Lexa today, pulled Clarke back, if she hadn’t had left when she did then she knew she may not have left at all, she wanted to stay and know more of what they knew about these pirates, but it wasn’t an option for Clarke, Lexa was like a drug and she finally had escaped it’s pull. Well as long as she kept her distance that is. 

\-----------------------------------------------

As Clarke approached the camp, she smiled at how far her people had come. Their camp was spread far and wide, into the trees by the river she had come from and close to Ton DC. They had created an irrigation system from the river for fresh water and a sewage system that took their waste away. The school opened three weeks ago, and stood at the opposite side to camp than the new hospital. Only a handful of people lived inside of the ark, most opting for their own house outside of its walls. Her people were no longer just surviving, but they were living. Families had formed and her mother was doing more scans of babies than stitching up war wounds. Everyone was finding their place but there was still a lot that needed to be done. 

Without farm station for food, and the summer full of berries was coming to an end, they had yet to be ready to grow enough food in time for winter. They would be ready and prepared for next spring, but summer was coming to an end and winter would soon be fast approaching. They were beginning to make stores, but Clarke knew when winter came, it would become harder and harder to hunt. 

Her plan that allowed her some peace when it came to Lexa, was that she would see her people through this winter and then and only then, would she allow herself to open the letters.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter 11  
~Clarke

The full moon arrived quickly, Clarke knew the leaders would all be in Polis by now ready for the summit tomorrow, when the moon would be at its strongest. 

Clarke had added a window into her own hut, so as she lay trying to let sleep take her, she could look up at a place she once thought felt like home. Her eyes drifted around the room around her, the fire dwindling, but still creating enough light to see. This should feel like home, but she could never shake the feeling like she was just visiting. Maybe because she knew deep down somewhere, that she hoped this was just a visit. 

Her eyes got pulled to her corner where she knew she secretly stored her unopened letters. Every night was a fight to not give in and open them. She pulled her eyes away and rolled back onto her back looking up into the night sky. 

She fell asleep as she always did, finding green eyes as she closed her eyes, imagining everything and anything those letters may contain. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

The next day arrived, and she was just about to exit her place for the day, when Raven nearly knocked down her door, not waiting for an invitation. 

“Raven I could have been naked.” Was the only response that seemed to come to Clarke’s mind.

“Oh yeah who with? You may as well be a virgin again Clarke.” Clarke’s cheeks tinted red at Ravens accusation. “Anyways speaking of the woman you’re saving yourself for. Aria is on the radio.” Raven said urgently, holding out a radio for Clarke. Raven winced as she took another step closer to her, Clarke felt the pain herself, Raven seemed to be only getting worse and it killed Clarke there was nothing she could do for her.

She knew Raven could see what she was thinking, and could see Raven’s defences fly up, so she quickly tried to change the mood of the room. “Aria? Don’t make me throw up Raven.” Raven rolled her eyes and looked at her in a hurry towards the radio.

“Aria?” Clarke finally said into the radio.

“Clarke.” Aria said worried.

“What’s going on, are you ok?” Clarke asked, becoming more and more concerned.

“I’m fine Clarke, I’m here in Polis for the Summit.” Clarke didn’t know Aria was going but Lexa was her sister so who was she to question it.

Aria’s voice was hushed, she did not want anyone on her end to hear her. “The leaders, they have staged a coup, a few leaders opposed, but Regnor, the new leader of Broadleaf has challenge Lexa to single combat.” 

Clarke was struggling to follow. “I don’t understand Aria, why is he challenging Lexa?”

“She erm... has not been herself Clarke, everyone can see it, she is powering on, but part of the leader she was has dwindled, which is why I am scared she will lose.”

The word ‘lose’ pierced through Clarke, like someone had just struck a sword through her.

“And if she loses?” Clarke was terrified to hear the answer, she could feel her hands shaking where she clasped onto the radio.

“The fight is to the death Clarke.” Clarke dropped the radio, it landed on the furs as her legs buckled below her and she fell to the ground. Tears spilled out and fear covered every inch of her. Her chest was tight and her breathing was becoming quick. She closed her eyes trying to take deep breaths. She couldn’t let herself fall apart. 

She managed to pick up the radio. “She is the Commander; I have seen her spar.” She said trying to sound hopeful.

“If this was a year ago Clarke, I would have no doubt Lexa would beat anyone, but she’s lost her will, her spark. I know she will do what she can but I don’t think it will be enough, Regnor is strong, he is known for his combat skills.” The air on the radio was quiet. “Since you left, Tallora, say’s Lexa has disappeared inside herself more and more.” Clarke felt guilt wash over her. Lexa was going to die and it was her fault. 

“Broadleaf, have experience the most attacks from these new invaders. He says the commander is no longer fit to rule, that a new conclave needs to be held, for a new leader with more strength to rise to defeat this new enemy. He thinks the new commander will be able to convince Skaikru to join the coalition, where Lexa has failed. They know the weapons the sea enemy comes with; they know they need you if they are to win this war.” 

“When will the challenge take place?” Clarke asked.

“Noon.” It was early morning, but it only gave her a few hours to try and get there. There was only one thing faster than the rover.

“Try and stall. I’ll be there.” Clarke said, not waiting for a response. 

She ran toward the hanger. Zipping up her tan leather jacket fully. She had nothing else with her but her sword, knife and hand gun that she had already strapped to herself when she woke in her daily routine. No food, No water. But she didn’t care, the only thing that mattered now was Lexa. 

She swung her leg over the bike, turning the key over, checking it had a full tank. 

“Clarke! What’s going on? Where are you going?” She heard Bellamy ask as he crossed the hanger towards her. She didn’t have time to talk. Every second mattered.  
  
“Ask Raven.” Was all she said, before she put a black helmet on and slid the plastic cover down. In seconds she was flying out through the camp. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

With the bike she could easily manoeuvre around the trees, quicker than the rover’s path. Time had never gone slower, all Clarke was thinking about was Lexa, picturing Lexa in her tower, week after week, never getting a letter back. Now she may not be alive to finally get a letter in return, she may die not knowing Clarke still cared, that she still wanted her.

Before long, the flame came into view, but Clarke also noticed the sun high in the sky! 

She was afraid she was already too late.

She didn’t have time to find the tunnels, so she rode up to the main gate. 

Two guards drew their swords.

“Speak your name and your reason for being here.”’

Clarke stayed on her bike and flicked up the plastic face guard. “Wanheda, I am here to see the Commander for the Summit.” The guards looked nervously at each other. 

“No weapons are allowed inside.” 

Clarke threw her sword and knife on to the floor. Before she had approached the gates, she had hidden her gun behind her.

They opened the gates and she was through like a bolt of lightning. She had never seen the streets so quiet, but as she advanced towards the tower, the crowd came into sight. It looked like they were all there to watch at the base of the tower.

Clarke beeped her horn and at the sight of her, they parted. Most never seen such a metal contraption.

Clarke felt dread swarm her as the people opened up and she saw the square they were flocked around. 

She couldn’t stop thinking she was too late. There were drums and cheers and then sounds of shock. But that all stopped as she skidded to a stop at the edge of the arena. From behind her helmet all she could make out, was Lexa down on one knee, blocking an attack and the Broadleaf warrior stumbling back slightly. Then both opponents noticed her and stopped in their attack.

She heard Titus call out from where he stood on the constructed stage. “What is the meaning of this?”

She slowly pulled her helmet off and her long blonde hair fell out, it had grown a lot since she was last here. She heard further gasps around her and the whispers of “Wanheda.”

Her eyes held Lexa’s bewildered gaze; Clarke had never needed to see those green eyes more than right now. She was still alive. She had to try stop this. 

“Wanheda.” Titus said with a slight bow. “What brings you here?”

“I was invited.” Clarke said moving off the bike, pulling her gaze from Lexa’s. Clarke put the helmet on the bike handle and walked to the centre of the arena. 

“I have come to accept our position as the thirteenth Clan, but _only_ under the rule of Leska Kom Trikru as Heda.” Voices came to life in the arena at her words. 

The leaders all sat nervously, most not yet dared to meet her gaze.

“Clarke, what are you doing?” Lexa came to stand beside her, asking under her breath so no one else could here. 

“Saving you.” Clarke said simply looking back up to the leaders.

“Heda has been challenged. The challenge was accepted. Nothing can be done to change that now.” Titus said, with regret and sadness in his voice. Clarke thought ‘like hell their is’. 

The broadleaf leader turned to Clarke from where he stood, still with his weapon in his hand. “Wanheda, it is an honour to finally meet you. I assure you; the next commander will be more worthy of your presence. With you by our side, the invaders stand no chance.”

Clarke felt anger rise in her, at his words saying Lexa wasn’t worthy. She clenched her fists and tried to bite back her response, turning again to speak to the other leaders on stage. Clarke went to say she will not join under a different Commander but Lexa pulled on her arm to face her, speaking low again.

“Clarke, you are driven to fix everything for everyone, but you cannot fix this.” Clarke paused for a moment, taking in Lexa’s tired eyes, swirling of green.

“Watch me.” Clarke said with determination, trying to pull her arm free to face back to the stage.

Lexa’s grip tightened on her arm as she tried to turn. Clarke looked fiercely into her eyes, agitated by Lexa’s actions.

“I will tell them that I will never join them if anything happens to you, I will tell them Skaikru will wipe them out if they let this continue.”

“Clarke,” Lexa said gently, letting go of her arm. “I once failed you. I let the fear of losing you take over, when I should have trusted you, I should have believed in you. I am asking you now to do what I didn’t. Trust me.” Clarke let her words sink in. But the thought of anything happening to her made her feel sick. 

She was so close to Lexa now, her eyes automatically fell to her lips, she could see the black blood, trickling down from the corner of her mouth. Before Clarke realised what she was doing, her hand reach the back of Lexa’s head and she pulled her close. 

As their lips connected, Clarke heard gasps and a deafening silence around them. But as Lexa kissed her back, they melted together. It was like the part of Clarke that she had lost these past few months came rushing back. She felt Lexa’s hand at the small of her back, guiding her closer. Clarke could taste the metal of Lexa’s blood, and it made her deepen the kiss further, fear it may be the last chance she ever has to kiss her. 

As they came apart to catch their breaths, it was like they were the only ones there. “I don’t think I can ever stop kissing you” Clarke said knowing that now she had kissed her again, she wouldn’t be able to stop, she wouldn’t be able to walk away again. 

“Then don’t.” Lexa responded, repeating what she said at the waterfall.

Clarke leaned back in, to have Lexa’s taste, the warmth of her breath, her lips for a moment more.  
  
“Live, and I won’t have to.” She said pulling back.

“I will.” Lexa breathed back to her.

“Lexa, just in case ... I need you to know, not a moment has passed since you left, where I haven’t been yours, I never stopped lov–”

“Don’t. Tell me after.” Lexa said taking a step back, picking her sword up of the floor and spinning it, showing her skills, with a look of determination Clarke had never seen so strongly across her features. A massive surge of roars and clapping erupted from the crowd of people.

Clarke gave her nod and Lexa did the same and she turned to the stage.

Clarke couldn’t even think about the response of those spectating right now, not with Lexa’s life in the balance, but she couldn’t help but notice the shock on the broadleaf leader’s face. His confidence had clearly been knocked out of him at the sight. And from the way Lexa beamed, a whole new lease of life now ran through her. He was no longer liking his odds. 

Clarke stopped next to Titus and Aria soon appeared beside her. Lexa and Regnor took their positions once again. 

“Begin.” Titus proclaimed. 

Clarke had never seen Lexa fight, but Lexa was incredible, she moved in the air like it was nothing, dodging and gliding through his strikes. She managed to get a few more blows, and the crowd roared at the fight the commander now had.

But before Clarke could feel an ounce of hope, He knocked the weapons out of Lexa’s hands and kicked her to the ground. He had his spear getting ready to strike and Clarke’s hand went to her gun. She slowly pulled it out from under the back of her jacket. It was now at her side and she slowly began to raise it as he got closer to Lexa, but before it could get too high, she felt something blocking it. Aria had lay her hand on top of it encouraging it down. “If you kill him now, Lexa will die anyway, her people would not stand for it. They would think her weak.”

It took everything Clarke had but she managed to holster her gun in its holder at her hip.

Lexa’s eyes connected with hers where she lay against the ground. She didn’t even watch his approach, only Clarke. Clarke pleaded with her to move, with her eyes, but all Lexa did was smile. Clarke hated that she had wasted the past 6 months. 6 months she could have been with Lexa, she may have had to be with her people, but they could have had moments, visits, anything, just talking to her on the radio, replying to her letters, anything. 

Clarke watched as he drove down his spear, but in a blink of an eye it hit concrete. Lexa was up and had taken his weapon, knocking him back with it. As he lay on the floor, she picked up her own sword. He managed to stand again, but Lexa dominated. A couple of more minutes passed and his body crumpled to the ground, next to where is head now rolled across the floor. 

“Lexa Kom Trikru is once again victorious.” Titus announced above the cheers. And the cheers only continued to grow. They began to chant “Heda, Heda.” And Clarke finally breathed. She had never been so scared. She had never felt more relieved. Tears welled in her eyes and a smile soon spread across her face, as she looked around and saw the love of Lexa’s people. They came to see their commander win, not to fall and Lexa gave them what they wanted. 

Lexa found her eyes and smiled. Clarke promised herself in that moment, that she was going to do everything she could, to keep that woman smiling, because it was the greatest thing she had ever seen.

Lexa came to stand before the leaders. “Does anyone else wish to challenge me.” They all looked at their feet. One brave man said “No Heda.”

“Very well, we will begin the Summit at sundown.” Lexa turned and left walking up the steps to the tower. Just as she reached the last step. She turned and met Clarkes eyes, then turned back to continue. 

That was an invite Clarke was more than willing to accept. It took everything she had to wait until the leaders began to disperse, most going into the tower as well.  
  
Clarke threw the keys to Aria and left the bike where it stood, walking straight past it towards the tower, to Lexa. 

....................

Clarke didn’t have any patience to knock. The guards didn’t move to stop her as she pushed the door open and closed it behind her. Lexa spun, still dressed in her armour, a bandaged semi wrapped around her hand. 

Lexa had barely made it to face Clarke when she was met with Clarkes lips. Clarke fumbled trying to take Lexa’s shoulder pad off but letting out a frustrated sigh as she was failing. Lexa couldn’t help but laugh at Clarkes suffering. 

“Here Clarke.” Lexa said directing her to sit on the bed. “Relax, I’m not going anywhere.”

Lexa’s undid her shoulder plate, and took the rest of her armour off, laying it on the table and went to sit beside Clarke.

“I nearly lost you today.” Clarke said emotion filling her eyes.

“I know. But I’m right here Clarke.” She took Clarke’s hand and held it against her chest, letting Clarke feel her beating heart. 

Clarke’s eyes closed as she felt the beat, it quickened under her touch.

“Lay with me.” Lexa said sweetly. 

Clarke nodded with her eyes still closed, feeling overwhelmed with all of her emotions from today washing over her. 

They lay on the furs; Clarke pressed her ear tightly over Lexa’s heart and closed her eyes. Falling lost in the rhythm of Lexa’s chest rising and falling. Part of her still didn’t believe Lexa was truly still here, that she was lay in her arms once again. 

Clarke looked up from where her head rested on Lexa. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been such a fool.” 

“Your here now.”

“I’m sorry you haven’t heard from me, I just knew that if I let myself think of you for too long, I’d well ... be here.” 

“It’s ok Clarke, you stayed for your people, that’s why you are you and why I love you so much.”

Clarke paused, not being able to stop herself from asking in a shaky voice; “so there hasn’t been anyone else?”

“Oh yes I forgot, I better go tell my new lover her services are no longer needed.” 

At first Clarke wasn’t sure if she was being serious, but then she saw the playfulness glisten in her eyes. 

“Did you just make a joke?” Clarke asked shaking her head amused, climbing up closer to Lexa, so her head now hovered above hers as half of her lay on top of Lexa.

“I’ve been known to make them...once in a full moon anyway.” Lexa said with a cheesy grin across her face. Clarke shook her head again at that, letting out a laugh. 

“I’ve missed your laugh Clarke.” Lexa said more serious. A calm silence fell in the room, as Lexa became lost in thought and Clarke looked down patiently at the incredible woman below her.

“Sometimes, at my darkest moments, when I thought I had lost you, I would just sit and reread your letter, holding your father’s watch. I held onto the hope that as long as I had it, I had you. Then other times, I debated sending it to you, so you could have it back, but partly because I hoped it would make you come to me, like it did the last time I gave it you back. But then I would think to myself that I didn’t want you to come back until you are ready.” Lexa paused taking a deep breath. “Clarke, if you are still not ready that is ok, I would wait a lifetime for you, even if it only gave me a few hours with you. I would understand if the unforeseen circumstances caused you to come back to me before you were ready, you have no obligation to me or the coalition.”

Clarke understood what Lexa was offering her, she knew the time she thought she would be ready was after the winter. But now she knew the truth, you couldn’t choose a time to be with someone, you just had to be grateful for the time you had together, for the circumstance that pulled you back to the person you were supposed to be with. She had been such an idiot. 

Clarke leaned down and stole Lexa’s lips into hers. She needed to feel her, to touch her, to love her, to show her how ready she was, to tell her she never wanted to let her go again, to know she was alive. 

Lexa lips parted, allowing Clarke to deepen the kiss. Clarke’s tongue traced the bottom of Lexa’s lip, still tasting the blood that lingered there, hoping for permission to enter. Lexa answered with her own tongue meeting Clarkes, dancing, tasting each other, as their bodies pressed firmly together, hands tracing the other in perfect memory.

The kisses became desperate and sloppy, but they both didn’t care, they just needed to be connected, to feel each other, to have each other after all this time apart. 

Clarke movements were hurried and clumsy, reverting back to her attack from when she first entered, needing to feel Lexa against her. To feel her alive. They quickly discarded their clothes over the sides of the bed, never separating for long, staying pressed together as much as they could, their lips only parting for a split second to get their tops off. 

Clarke felt Lexa below her, her body pressed flush against Lexa’s own so she could feel every inch of her flesh. Tears escaped Clarke; it was all too much. “I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you.” She said re-joining their lips in a wet slippery kiss. Lexa’s own tears mixed with her own. 

“I love you so much Clarke.” Lexa whispered against her. “My heart beats only for you.” 

Clarke began trailing wet kisses down Lexa’s body, tears still flowing, overwhelmed by the fear of losing her and the love she has for her.

Clarke lowered her mouth between Lexa’s legs, wanting to taste her, wanting to make Lexa feel alive below her, wanting to love her. Lexa spread her legs willingly. Clarke didn’t hesitate to take her sensitive bud into her mouth, sucking gently, listening to Lexa’s breathing and how it changed as she began to use her tongue, picking up the speed, occasionally taking her into her mouth fully, practically lifting Lexa off the bed. Everything was Lexa, her wetness coated her, her taste, her smell, her essence, Clarke loved every second. She needed this, she needed Lexa.

Lexa wrapped her legs around Clarke, using them to pull her closer, like it was possible. Clarke used one hand to hold her down where she wanted her, whilst the other grazed across her aroused nipple. She became lost in Lexa, tasting her, sucking her, licking her, feeling her bud grow and throb in her mouth. She loved the way Lexa moaned, the way her names escaped her lips. Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hair, pushing her against her further. Clarke adjusted her tongue so it was more firm and stronger, knowing it was what Lexa needed. Clarke felt Lexa beginning to tense, using her legs to lift herself up further into Clarke in pleasure. A few more strokes of her tongue and Lexa was vibrating below her. 

As Lexa calmed, Clarke did not stop her attack. Lexa legs were still over her shoulders and Clarke wrapped both her arms around her thighs to hold her there. She wanted Lexa to fall over the edge again and again, until she couldn’t take it anymore and begged Clarke to stop. Clarke wasn’t ready to leave Lexa’s heat just yet, she wanted to continue to be consumed by her, in all of her senses. She wanted to fuck Lexa senseless. She wanted to love her again and again. 

It didn’t take lexa as long to reach her orgasm the second time. “Clarke, please I’m too sensitive.” With Lexa’s request as she stopped trembling after her third release. Clarke slowly kissed along her folds, licking up any of Lexa’s arousal that she could find. Once Clarke was satisfied, she found her way back up to Lexa. 

Her eyelids were heavy and she was covered in sweat. Her breathing was still laboured and she loved how spent she looked. Clarke took her into her arms and kissed the top of her head as she relaxed on Clarke’s chest. Clarke smiled as she heard Lexa’s breathing even and she knew she had fallen to sleep.

As Clarke looked down at Lexa in the day light, she finally had a moment to take her in, she noticed the dark circles under her eyes and she hated the thought of Lexa not sleeping, waking up alone in the night having a night terror.

So, Clarke let her sleep and enjoyed simply holding her. Watching her chest rise and fall. Not long ago she was so close to losing everything, because Lexa was everything, her home, her person, her heart. 

Sleep tried to pull her also, after her long journey, but Clarke stayed awake, watching over her, not daring to take her eyes of off Lexa, like she may disappear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys didn't think I was going to be cruel and make you wait loads more chapters for some Clexa did you?
> 
> I wouldn't do that to you guys! Although there is a few more curve balls heading their way!
> 
> I hope you are enjoying the longer chapters! As always your comments mean the world to me, so keep them coming, I love hearing what you all think, or if you have any questions! 
> 
> Also thank you for all the kudos, as I know sometimes I choose the story to read by looking at how many kudos it has, so I am grateful for it to encourage more readers!


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just a pre warning, there is quite abit of smut over the next few chapters, so if thats not your thing, I appologise!

Chapter 12  
~Lexa

Lexa only woke, when a knock came at the door. She lifted herself up from where she had lay with Clarke, now under some furs. Clarke must have covered them whilst she slept. Clarke was still awake smiling. “Hey.” Clarke said ignoring the knock. The sun still shone through the window, but it was much lower in the sky. 

“Sorry I must have fallen asleep.” Lexa felt her cheeks go hot realising she didn’t return the favour after Clarke had made her feel more amazing than she had ever felt before. But with the fight and the little sleep she had been getting, sleep won. 

“What gave you that idea.” Clarke said with a playful smile. 

The knock came again. “Are you guys decent, because I’m coming in.” Aria said. They saw the handle bend and in quick panic, they pulled the furs higher and tighter against themselves. 

“Good your decent” Aria said, with a hand over her eyes, peaking out between two fingers. “It’s ok you can come in.” She yelled to someone.

In an instant several servants flooded into the room. 

“Aria, we are not decent, what is the meaning of this?” Lexa commanded. She wasn’t so bothered about her nudity; she was brought up with it being natural but she knew Clarke and her people were weird about that sort of thing. Which was confirmed with the way Clarke was squirming and her knuckles were going white, from where she held the fur next to Lexa.

“If Clarke is going to join the coalition, then you need to be dressed appropriately for the ceremony. Clarke, I’ve picked two dresses which do you prefer?” Aria asked, like this was no big deal. 

Clarke looked uneasy, towards Lexa. “Aria.” Lexa tried giving her a stern look. 

“What? It’s not like the entire twelves clans aren’t going to know about you two by tomorrow, if Clarkes bothered then she shouldn’t go snogging your face off in front of the whole of Polis.” Aria said as a matter of fact.

Clarke groaned, “You’ve been hanging around Raven too long! And Lexa could have died; I wasn’t going to give up my one chance to kiss her.” Lexa felt her cheeks burn all the way to the tips of her ears at the comment. She was so shocked when Clarke kissed her in the arena, she just froze, it took her a moment to realise what was happening before she kissed Clarke back. She had never kissed Costia in public, everyone knew she was hers, but being Commander was still new and she nor Costia would have dared. But of course, Clarke would, she was always so bold and didn’t care about the rules. It shouldn’t have surprised her so much, now she really thought about it. Her mouth now crept into a smirk at the memory of the kiss, and the look on Regnor’s face.

She noticed Clarke going from a frown, in response to Aria, to looking nervously again, remembering the servants in the room.

“Hey, you don’t need to explain it to me, that kiss put the fire back into my sister, she’d probably be dead without it.” Aria said, looking at the two dresses, two servants held up.

“Aria.” She said more deeply and commanding. “Everybody out.” She just got Clarke back and right now Clarke looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here.

Aria rolled her eyes, knowingly that everyone would obey Lexa and not her.

Tallora scuttled out of the bath chambers, and with a dip of her head toward her and Clarke, she said, “your bath is ready Heda.” Then disappeared with the others. Aria had asked them to lay the dresses for tonight on the sofa and to come back for make up later.

When the door closed Aria, sat on the end of the bed. “I’m sorry, but it will be sundown soon and we do have a lot to do, to make the ceremony official Lex.” Aria apologised.

“I know but, Clarke has not yet confirmed she is joining the coalition.” Lexa explained, glaring at Aria. 

“Ahhh, I see. Well, this is awkward. Erm... I’ll just leave you two to talk that part out then.” Aria said getting up from the bed, escaping to the door. 

Once the door closed, she looked to Clarke, taking her hand in her own and rubbing circles on the back of it. “Sorry about Aria Clarke, but Aria is right, if we are going to perform the branding ceremony, there is a lot of preparation, and not much time to do it.” She hated herself for admitting it. She wished she could stay here in bed with Clarke. She still couldn’t believe Clarke was here, after all these months. Her hope had begun to fade. She will never forget the moment she met Clarkes eyes in the arena, the determination, the love that poured out of her, trying to tell Lexa a thousand things in only a moment. she felt her blood sing for Clarke, her heart beat stronger. She saw in Clarkes eyes; what she was scared she wouldn’t see that day in the village. She hadn’t lost her.

“I will have to go and find Aria, and ask for her radio, I will need the councils backing if I am going to do this.” Clarke said lost in thought.

“So, you are willing, to take the brand.” Lexa said uncertain. Although Clarke had made it very, very clear with her actions earlier. Lexa still couldn’t help but feel unsure that this was what Clarke really wanted, she never wanted to make Clarke do anything she didn’t want ever again. 

“If I don’t then what I said earlier in the arena was false, but there will have to be conditions, I will not join under the obligation I have to fight your wars. If the leaders are willing to try a different approach with the invaders and it does not go our way and they leave us no choice, then we will join the fight, but not without reaching out an arm of peace first.” Lexa felt herself relax slightly. She promised Clarke that she would treat her people as her own, with or without them joining, but it would be a lot easy to protect them as part of the coalition, without having her position questioned. 

“I believe these terms will be acceptable, most leaders are new leaders compared to six months ago Clarke, there were multiple changes in clans, after what their leaders decided against your people. And those that will let fear make their decisions again, will still choose to agree, as they fear, going to war without your weapons.” Lexa said in response.

“Ok, well I better go find that radio then, if we don’t have much time.” Clarke said swinging her legs over the bed, reaching for her top. Lexa felt her mouth go dry watching the way Clarke arched her back, as she lifted her arms through her top. The disappointment of not being able to touch Clarke the way she wanted to earlier, was quickly replace by a new burst of desire. She grazed her fingers across Clarkes ribs, brushing slightly against the curve of Clarkes breast. Clarke’s breath hitched and her movements stopped. Her arms still above her head, tangled in her top. 

Clarke’s skin burned beneath her and she felt her own heat grow in response. She traced the outline of Clarke’s full curves, stopping at the side of her breast, before she let her hand glide across, feeling her nipple come alive under her. She felt a moan escape her own lips as she groped Clarke’s breast fully in her hand. 

Clarke responded, arching further into Lexa’s hand, dropping her shirt, letting it fall finally over her, but stopping against Lexa’s arm that now disappeared under the material. Clarke’s hands went to the bed to help support her arch. She wanted to show Clarke, just how much she missed her. She didn’t care if the leaders had to stand waiting in the throne room until tomorrow. 

She could see Clarkes eyes fluttered close as she continued to knead her firm breast. She ran a thumb over her nipple, as she moved closer behind Clarke, for a better grip and so her lips brushed against her ear. “Join me for a bath first Clarke.” She whispered.

“It will be nearly sundown soon Lexa.” Clarke her voice croaked, with her eyes still closed. She kissed where she had just whispered against Clarke’s ear, moving to place a gentle kiss behind her ear, where she knew Clarke loved. She was rewarded with a moan leaving Clarkes lips, rather than words of disapproval. She made her was down kissing her neck, feeling the way Clarke’s pulse quickened against her lips, then made her way back up towards Clarke’s ear.

Clarke tilted her head to give her more access. She nibbled at the bottom of her ear lobe, before she breathed into her ear; “I am the commander Clarke; the summit is when I say it is.” She felt Clarke shiver below her lips and she continued to trail down her neck again. 

Lexa felt Clarke move away from her and stood next to the bed. Although Clarke was an arm distanced in front of her, she already missed her.

She thought she was going to find the radio, but to Lexa’s surprise, she held out a hand with a seductive, dark look in her eye.

Lexa was more than happy to take it.

Clarke led the way towards the bath. The floor was cold against Lexa’s feet, but she would walk on ice and fire for Clarke, especially if she got to claim Clarke as a reward at the end of it. 

Lexa could see the steam of the water as they approached. The tub stood on feet in the middle of the room, candles lay all around it, with two towels on a stool beside it. Lexa suddenly felt a little embarrassed. Tallora must have known Clarke would be joining her. 

As Clarke stopped, she turned to face Lexa and Lexa reached for the hem of Clarkes shirt and pulled it back over her head. 

Lexa stood taking in the whole of Clarke, something feral turned in her and she leaned in taking one of Clarkes nipples into her mouth, not being able to wait until they got in. Lexa had never desired anyone more. She could feel every inch of her vibrating for Clarke. 

As Lexa took her nipple, swirling her tongue around it, her hand went to Clarkes bare hip and the other sprayed across her spine, Clarke arched up towards her, to make it easier for Lexa. 

She dragged her tongue across to Clarkes other breast, and bit down slightly and sucked just under her nipple where her breast curves. She knew she would leave a mark, and it urged her on. Clarke moaned in delight and Lexa took the other nipple into her mouth, nibbling slightly, before lightly sucking on it. 

Lexa released her nipple and rose, pressing Clarkes body against her own, feeling their nipples sliding against one another, sent a surge of arousal to her core. Lexa’s sucked Clarkes bottom lip into her own mouth. She craved Clarke like one would crave rain in a dessert, or sun in the coldest of winters. 

Lexa removed herself from Clarke, and took her hand, encouraging her to follow her as she stepped into the bath. Lexa sat with her back against the highest side of the tub and guided Clarke down so she rested between her legs, her back pressed against Lexa’s front.

The warm water floated high around them. Lexa loved how Clarke felt in her arms. Clarke’s head fell back against Lexa’s shoulder, letting out a sigh and Lexa planted a kiss on her neck. “Your breath-taking Clarke.” She told her, letting her lips vibrated against her skin as she said it. 

Before Clarke could replied, Lexa began to ravish Clarke’s neck and along her shoulder. Her hand roamed across Clarke stomach, teasing the outline of her breasts. “Please Lex.” Clarke panted, as Lexa was now kissing her neck. She seized Clarkes breast into a possessive squeeze as her other hand that was resting against Clarkes hip, started to move, along her thigh. As her hand came back, she dragged her tips lower on the inside of Clarkes leg. Clarkes breathing quickened as she got closer to Clarke’s sex. 

Her fingers slid through Clarkes delicious wetness, her thickness coating lexa as she trailed her inside lips. “mmmmm, I love how wet you are for me Clarke.” Lexa moaned into Clarke’s ear. Still holding her tightly against her front, her other hand cradling her breast, adding a gentle pinch too the nipple occasionally. 

Lexa cupped her sex completely pulling her firmer against her, causing herself to jerk as Clarke nudged back. Clarkes body rubbed against her own throbbing bud between her legs. She applied pressure on the palm of her hand as she held Clarke in the water. Encourage by Clarkes moans next to her, she let a few fingers dip ever so slightly, tantalizing her at the entrance. She allowed her middle finger to move around the edge just inside of Clarke, putting a little more pressure as it explored, still allowing pressure on her palm against Clarke’s clit. Lexa’s lips were still working Clarke’s neck and she felt Clarke jolt, as she plunged two fingers deep inside of her. She couldn’t help but smile against Clarkes skin at her response. She curled her fingers against her wall before she pulled them completely out, then straight back deep in again, filling Clarke with a third finger. “Fuck Lexa, I feel so full.”

Lexa’s fingers were buried knuckle deep inside of Clarke and she loved how Clarkes walls tightened around her. She felt Clarke’s arousal dripping down her hand in the water, she was so wet it was so easy to sink in and out of her. Lexa’s other hand left where it was tweaking Clarke’s nipples and drifted down her body to join her other hand. She rested two fingers gently on Clarkes beating bud, allowing Clarke to move herself against Lexa’s fingers. 

Water was beginning to splash over the edges of the bath, but neither of them took notice or care.

Lexa continued to plunge in and out of her, curling deep into her wall on her way out. “I’m so close.” 

“Let go for me Clarke.” Lexa uttered against her ear. With a little more pressure from Lexa’s fingers circling Clarke’s bud. Clarke shook violently against her, causing even more water to seep over the edges of the tub as Clarke rode out her orgasm. As Clarke settled back against her, Lexa slowly withdrew her fingers that were still burrowed deep inside of her. Clarke pressed back into Lexa as the last of her fingers came out.

Lexa brought them out of the water, she couldn’t help but want Clarke to invade her taste buds. She slowly brought them to her mouth and sucked as she pulled her now clean fingers free. Lexa moaned at the taste. Before Lexa opened her eyes, she felt Clarke turning in front of her, meeting her lips, demanding her tongue into Lexa’s. Lexa jerked as Clarke bear down against her clit with her own, angling just right.

Lexa lifted her body up, so it clung against Clarkes. It only took a few rocks against her until she felt her own ecstasy wash over her. 

Lexa captured Clarke’s lips. “My body was born for yours Clarke.” 

“The things you make me feel” ... Clarke tried to find the right words, as she was still gathering her breath. “are like nothing on this earth.” 

Lexa brought her lips to Clarke’s ear as she continued to straddle Lexa. “That would be a lot less unnerving if you hadn’t just fallen from the sky Clarke.”

Clarke laughed shakenly, still breathing heavily. “It’s hard to think straight right now.” Clarke confessed. “And you always say the right thing.” 

“You mean like, how I made this choice with my head and not my heart?” 

Clarke looked at her with one eye brow raised not amused. “Too soon?” Lexa said.

Clarke smiled and kissed her softly on her lips. “Really if you think about it, you were just telling me that if you made the choice with your heart, you’d choose me.” Clarke said smugly, like she was a genius. 

“Clarke.” Lexa went serious, she needed Clarke to know she would never be so stupid again. Lexa sat up a little more in the water, feeling the cool air hit her new exposed skin and a hand went to Clarke’s cheek. She took a moment to gather what she wanted to say, and Clarke looked deeply into her soul as she waited patiently; “I swear fealty to you Clarke Kom Skaikru, I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people. With my head and my heart.” 

Lexa, saw Clarkes mouth open slightly, taken back by Lexa’s words. 

“You astound me Leska Kom Trikru. In all the world there is no heart for me like yours. You are the first I think of when I wake and the last before I fall to sleep. I am lost in you and I do not want to find myself.”

Silence fell as they gazed into one another. Lexa moved forward and brushed her lips against Clarkes, inhaling her breath. Clarkes soft lips parted against lexa’s. The kiss was slow, and so intimate, Lexa felt a tear escape from the happiness which filled her. Lexa could stay here forever, loosing herself in the warmth of Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank every one who keeps following the story! 
> 
> I am super curious, when you guys joined the story, whether it was the from the first chapter of part 1 or more recently! I love you all equally, whenever you discovered my story I am just curious. So I would really appreciate it, if you had a spare second, to drop a comment of when you joined the story, it would be really interesting to know!
> 
> Thanks again to everyone and I hoped you enjoyed the chapter!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments letting me know when you joined the story! And it is so great to see that so many of you have been here from the start! I hope I can keep doing the story justice!
> 
> I wasn't going to post this chapter until Sunday, but since I keep getting so many lovely comments, I thought I would post it early as a thank you to you all!

Chapter 13  
~Lexa

Lexa arrived to the throne room in a black flowy dress, pulled tight by a wrap at her waist, with a slightly different pattern of paint on her eyes. The guards opened the door as she entered. All leaders stood to one side of the room and bowed in respect. “Heda.” They said in union. Lexa gave a nod of her own in return and went to stand in front of her throne. The other side of the room held many of her subjects invited here to witness, as well as the leader’s friends and family who accompanied them. They too greeted Lexa as the leaders did.

She felt Titus move beside her. She rolled her eyes internally, not wanting to hear what he had to say right now. “You are late Heda.” He stated. She could see Aria’s smirk from where she stood on the other side of Lexa, at Titus’s comment. 

“I am the commander.” She reminded him. 

“Apologies Heda, but that girl has already taken so much of your focus this past year. I beg you to remember my teachings.” He said softly so only Lexa could her.

“That girl,” She said through gritted teeth, “destroyed the mountain, which every Commander before us failed to do, that girl brought Azgeda to their knees, that girl is our only hope against the sea enemy.” Lexa tried to hold her composure. 

“I meant no offence Heda.”

“Yes, you did.”

Before the discussion could continue, Navida began to sing and silence fell on the room. The doors opened and Lexa thought she had never seen anyone so radiant. 

Clarke walked in so powerfully, so confidently, that she dominated the room. 

Clarke approached; Lexa had informed her she would have to kneel if she were to take the brand, but Lexa was still nervous that she might have changed her mind. 

When Clarke sunk to the floor on one knee, the slit in her dress catching her eye and the bow of the head, sent a throbbing between Lexa’s legs at the sight. She felt a little guilty that the idea of Clarke kneeling before her, made her feel that way. 

All others in the room followed and knelt before their commander.

As the singing stopped Lexa said “Hail warriors of the twelve clans.”

“Hail commander of the blood.” The leaders responded.

“Rise.”

Everyone stood including Clarke.

“We welcome Clarke kom skaikru, legendary Wanheda, mountain slayer to our halls, in spirit of friendship and harmony.” Lexa gaze wondered across the room, wondering if there would be any late objections. Her eyes hovered a moment longer over Roan. She didn’t expect there to be any problems, rumour has it that, they fear Clarke more than herself, but she still couldn’t be certain.

“To symbolise the union of Skaikru becoming the thirteenth clan, you as their leader must bear our mark. Present your arm.” This was the part Lexa dreaded the most.

Bradston hovered the brand over the fire once more and then went to Clarke. Clarke held out her arm and it pained Lexa to watch but she did not falter her gaze. Clarke didn’t make a sound as the smell of burnt flesh met Lexa’s nose. 

“Now we will feast to celebrate our new member and tomorrow we will continue the summit.” Lexa announced. 

Doors opened to the right of the throne room, that connected to the room next to it. Along a long table laid a banquet of food and wine. Everyone quickly flooded in, leaving Lexa and Clarke alone. 

Lexa walked to stand by Clarke as she looked on to the others. “I’m sorry Clarke, I would never want to brand you, does it hurt?” 

“Say’s the one who left a love bite on my shoulder the last time I was here.” The smile on Clarke, gave Lexa a little relief that she was not upset with her about what just happened. 

“I wanted everyone to know you were mine Clarke.” Lexa said playfully back.

“I am.” Clarke said slowly turning to face her, her features turning genuine “Yours.”

Lexa leaned in to Clarke’s ear. “You are not something I wish to possess Clarke, you are something I wish to love, to adore.”

Lexa heard Clarke swallow as she stayed next to her ear and continued. “But I am too, yours Clarke.” Lexa turned and went to greet some of her other guests. 

..........................

~Clarke

Clarke followed Lexa into the adjoining room and went to talk to Aria and get some food, she had some fruit after the bath, but it barely did anything to quell her hunger, she hadn’t eaten all day. It ended up being an hour of Aria talking about how much she missed Raven, and Clarke having to answer any questions of what Aria had missed whilst she had been gone. Music played and people ate, drank and laughed. All leaders had come to greet Clarke in respect and express their happiness that Skaikru are now a part of the alliance. But all Clarke really wanted was to get this night over with so she could fall back into Lexa’s arms. 

Aria was saying something about Noah naming a chicken Clarke for her, when Clarke noticed a gorgeous red head draping around Lexa. “Aria who is that.” Clarke asked her jaw tensing at her words.

Aria turned to look over her shoulder, where Lexa stood slightly cornered by the table. “Ahhh Jasmine.” 

“Jasmine?” Clarke repeated.

“Yeah, it’s probably best I don’t tell you about her.” Aria suggested.

Clarke just crossed her arms at Arias response.

Aria let out a sigh, not liking where this was heading. “She is the daughter of the Boudalan leader. In the past ... well ... Lexa is only human Clarke.” 

“Has she... whilst I was ... away.” Clarke asked quickly, wondering if Lexa had lied to her, then again, she never really answer Clarke’s question.

“No, she hasn’t been to the capital since before you came to the ground, she often now reigns in her father’s absence, so she comes very little.” At least that made Clarke feel a little better.

“Hmmmm” Clarke responded, not taking her eyes off, where Lexa laughed at something this Jasmine said.

“She did also only just arrive before your branding, so she wouldn’t have seen you staking your territory on Lexa in the arena.” Aria waggled her eyebrows at the last part. 

“My territory?”

“Yeah, you think any girl is going to step foot near Lexa now, probably for the rest of time, without thinking they would face the wrath of Wanheda.” Aria explained. Clarke felt her cheek flush a little at Aria’s words, but she couldn’t help but like the sound of that. Clarke had never been jealous in past relationships and never this possessive, but Lexa was different, the thought of others trying to even get close to Lexa was seeming to make her blood boil.

Aria began to say something else, but right now she had to deal with the woman, touching her woman’s upper arm. 

Clarke didn’t wait another second before walking over to them, looking annoyed. 

It took a moment for Lexa to see her approach. “Clarke, I would like to introduce you to Jasmine, daughter of the Rock Line Clan.” Lexa said innocently.

Jasmine didn’t seem to dare look Clarke in the eye as she bowed her head slightly at her presence. “Wanheda, it is a pleasure to meet you.” The red head said as she looked at Clarke.

“I wish I could say them same.” Clarke stepped forward and whispered so even Lexa couldn’t hear. “Touch Lexa again and I will command your death.” Clarke said dryly, pulling away with a fake smile. Clarke had no idea what overcame her to say that but Lexa made her wild and the thought of another woman being near her, touching her made her furious.

The young woman began to tremble. “My Apologise Wanheda, Heda.” With a bow of the head she was gone to the other side of the room, not daring to look in their direction again. Clarke felt a little bad for the poor woman, but she couldn’t help but smile slightly at her triumph.

“Clarke,” Lexa said trying to sound annoyed but couldn’t hide the smile of her own. “You know I am only loyal to you and only you.”

Clarke just shrugged. “I know, but still doesn’t mean I like her falling all over my Niron.” 

“Niron? Who taught you that?” Lexa said sounding impressed. “Aria calls it Raven enough to figure it out.” Clarke said.

“Raven?” Lexa asked confused again.

“You don’t know.” Clarke realised.

“I feel as though Aria was so worried about me and my separation from you that she felt like she could not tell me of her own happiness. I will speak with her tomorrow.” Lexa said more to herself than Clarke. 

“But Clarke, back to you making great relations with the future rock line leader. If I threatened everyone who showed interest in you, then well, the people would have lost their favourite bar maid in the tavern, Bellamy would not dare speak to you and Tanisha from Podakru would be on her way home right now.” Lexa said indicating to a tall dark-haired woman, who kept glancing Clarke’s way over by the wine.

“It was just a joke Lexa and are you saying you have more self-control than me?” Clarke said with one eyebrow raised as a challenge. 

“I am saying Jasmine is an old friend and I’d like to keep her as one, but trust me Clarke, I only have and will ever have eyes for you.” Lexa said leaning in a little too close for the company they had around them.

“I do trust you Lexa, but I just want to point out those you mentioned I have never taken to bed, well there was this one time with Bellamy—” If looks could kill, Bellamy would probably be falling down dead somewhere in Arkadia, as well as Clarke. 

Clarke leaned into Lexa’s ear “I’m joking Lex, but who’s the one with no self-control now huh.” Clarke said pulling away with a wink and a smug look, taking a sip of her drink. 

“That wasn’t funny Clarke.” 

“I beg to differ.” Clarke said still amused with Lexa response.

It was now Lexa who leaned into Clarke’s ear. “Maybe I’ll make you beg later Clarke, as a reprimand for that joke.” Lexa only pulled back an inch, her eyes glancing down at Clarkes lips where they glistened hovering in front of her own. 

Clarke gulped, she felt wetness seeping down her legs, she squeezed her legs together to try and relive a little pressure that was there. Her heart sped up at the thought of Lexa, leaning in the remainder of the distance. But when Lexa only pulled away further, she huffed, “Your cruel Lexa Kom Trikru.” Lexa only smiled in response, making her way over to Jasmine probably to apologise on Clarke’s behalf and keep good political relations. 

Clarke turned to head back over to Aria, but was blocked by a tall, strong man with long hair. With the scars on his face and the crown on his head, Clarke knew instantly who he was. 

“Wanheda, it is an honour to finally introduce myself. I am king Roan of Azgeda, I think you might have known my mother.” She saw the slight pull of his mouth into a smile and his eyes glistened with charm. If he was upset with her for killing his mother at all, he was doing a good job at hiding it. 

When Clarke didn’t say anything, he continued. “I am grateful to you and your people, for not punishing me or my people for my mother’s crimes. I just wanted to assure you, you will always have an ally with Azgeda, if you were ever in need of it.”

Clarke was taken off guard, surprised, to find him so different than his mother. He looked rugged, but his eyes were kind and held warmth, nothing like the Queens who held only Ice and death. 

She couldn’t help but smile warmly back at him. “Thank you, I hope we can look to the future instead of the past. I am sure there are many great things out people can learn from one another.” Clarke offered. 

He stepped a little closer, a little to close and his voice dropped a little quieter, so only she could here. “I am sure there is a lot we could learn from one another Wanheda, if you tire of this tower, a palace awaits you in the north, a throne of your own. You would be the greatest queen Azgeda will have ever seen.” Clarke felt the tips of her ears go hot. He was handsome she couldn’t deny it and his boldness intrigued her, yet she smiled to herself in amusement, and she knew in the moment, no one would ever hold a candle to Lexa, she would never be anyone else’s, but Lexa’s and the thought scared her a little but also sent a new wave of happiness and excitement through her. 

Clarke took a step back, “I think Azgeda would be a little too cold for me, I much prefer the warmth of my bed here.” His smirk showed he understood the true meaning of her words.

“The offer is always there if you change your mind Wanheda.” He gave a nod and a slight bow and then moved to another part of the room.

She couldn’t help but smile at how giddy the thought her and Lexa made her feel. She knew how much she loved her and how she couldn’t see any other future but her. But it is one thing to want someone, but another to not want anyone else and know that it will always be Lexa’s heart she chooses. 

She suddenly came back to reality and the room, when someone brushed past her back. Her smile only grew, she didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. 

“I hope that smile isn’t for King Roan.” Lexa said playfully in almost a whisper, from somewhere over her shoulder. Then she felt Lexa’s presence disappear again. But she always knew where she was in the room, like a sixth sense. 

.........

Clarke stayed until the last of the guests left. It was late and after her day she longed for the furs, but she couldn’t bring herself away from Lexa, it’s like she knew she was ok, but she still needed to see her to believe it.

As Lexa said her goodbyes to The Delphi leader and her husband, Clarke waited for her in the throne room. It wasn’t long until Lexa’s arms were sliding around Clarke, leaning her chin on Clarke’s shoulder. “What are you thinking?” Lexa asked, leaving a kiss on her temple as she came to stand in front of Clarke. When Clarke didn’t answer Lexa tried a different tactic. “You know Clarke,” She said stepping into Clarke’s space with dark eyes. “I am your commander now; I could command you to tell me.” 

“Oh, is that so Commander.” Clarke said back playfully.

Lexa nodded in confirmation and went into kiss the lips she had been craving all night. But Clarke swooped passed her towards her throne. “And if I refuse?” Clarke asked facing back towards her. 

“Then you would leave me no choice Clarke, you would be breaking a direct command.” Lexa tried to say seriously. 

“And how would you punish me commander?” Clarke said seductively. 

Suddenly it seemed as Lexa’s mind had gone elsewhere. “Clarke, I know you asked me if there had been anyone else, but I never asked y ---” 

“No one.” Clarke said quickly before Lexa could finish. “Since I met you, I have thought of no one else.” Clarke ensured, stepping closer to Lexa.

“Not even the bakers boy?” Lexa said with a smug look. 

Clarke laughed. “You got me there, I forgot about him, but he never held my thoughts not for a second Lexa.”

Lexa took another step, dropping her gaze to Clarkes lips. “Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight Clarke.” 

Clarke smiled lovingly. “Once or twice.” Because Lexa already had numerous times throughout the night. 

Lexa began to walk toward Clarke with a dangerous look in her eye. Clarke couldn’t help but take a step back nervously. She nearly fell when she hit a step but Lexa steadied her and guided her up the remaining step to the throne. 

“Today you knelt before me Clarke, now tonight I will kneel before you.” 

Clarke’s heartbeat began to quicken. And she sat down as Lexa guided her onto the throne. She looked up at Lexa in anticipation.

Lexa took both of her hands in to her own. And knelt before her. “I kneel only to you Clarke. I worship only you. Lexa let go of her hands and pulled Clarke in slightly for a heated kiss. Clarke felt Lexa’s hands clasp her knees and slowly, move up her thighs, sliding them under her dress. Clarke was now panting, not sure if this was really happening. Her clit throbbed at the thought. 

Lexa lips stayed connected to Clarke, never tiring. Her tongue exploring Clarkes. Lexa’s finger tips met the top of her thighs, she felt one run along the line of her underwear, to between her legs. Dipping slightly into Clarke pool of wetness that Clarke knew she would find there. Pulling the under wear slightly to one side so she could get better access. Clarke felt Lexa’s fingers run through her folds, rubbing circles around the pulsing bud she found at the top. Clarke moaned into Lexa’s mouth in approval. 

When Lexa’s finger slid out of her underwear. Clarke’s stomach fluttered with butterfly’s and Lexa gripped her underwear again, this time under her dress at the waist line. Clarke lifted herself off the throne slightly to allow room for Lexa to slide her underwear off. Clarke missed Lexa’s lips. But the new cool air that hit her warm slick heat, sent a shiver and a whole new arousal through her. 

She looked down to where Lexa still kneeled, Lexa’s eyes were full of hunger. Clarke automatically shifted forward, her hands gripping the arms of the throne, but her eyes never leaving Lexa’s as she once again guided her dress further up, it now sat at her waste and Clarke felt her bareness against the cold throne. Lexa broke eye contact and began to trail kisses on the inside of Clarkes leg, slowly making her way to Clarke’s centre. 

Clarke felt like she was about to explode, she had never been so turned on. Her head fell back as Lexa’s hands once again ran along her thighs, but this time they ran under them. Wrapping themselves under her legs and around her back. Clarke felt even more exposed as Lexa’s action brought Clarke’s feet off the floor, now resting over Lexa’s shoulders as she continued to kiss her way further towards Clarke. Lexa pulled Clarke a little closer. Clarke practically whimpered when she felt Lexa’s strong tongue run through her, taking her clit into her mouth in one long continuous suck that seemed like it was never going to end and Clarke didn’t want her too, at the same time that Clarke was inside of Lexa’s mouth, Lexa was devouring her with her tongue against her bud. 

Clarke had never felt something so amazing; she had no idea quite what Lexa was doing but she had never had a sensation like it, that mixed with the fact she was sat on Lexa’s throne whilst the commander fucked her into oblivion, whilst she suffocated Lexa with her Legs, she was barely going to last a moment longer. She could feel her orgasm coming, part of her wanting it more than anything, the other part wanting it never to come so she could feel Lexa eating her like she was her favourite dessert forever. As she was pushed over the edge, she felt her whole-body tremble and the pleasure spread right through to her finger tips and the tips of her toes, it lasted longer than any orgasm Clarke had experienced before, Lexa seemed to have a magic way of continuing it. When Clarke finally became still, she could feel her whole body tingling in orgasmic bliss, and she didn’t want to move, scared the feeling would go away. She felt Lexa mumbled something into her and Clarke responded; “I love you too.” 

Lexa pulled her dress back down but left her underwear off simply scooping it up on their way out. “I can’t walk around the tower without any underwear,” Clark said before they reached the door. 

“The thought that I can slide my hand up your leg to find nothing there but your arousal for me, sends me wild and my legs weak Clarke, do this for me and I promise you, you will have no use for underwear from the moment I throw you against our furs.

Clarke thought she might orgasm again just from Lexa’s words. Clarke couldn’t believe just this morning she was waking up along in Arkadia. 

As much as Clarke’s body cried out for sleep, she had never been more awake and she let Lexa keep her promise, long into the early hours of the morning, until neither of them could move another muscle. It was the first peaceful, deep sleep they have both had in over 6 months.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Students back next week in school, so I have been super busy. Especially with my kitchen, which is nearly done!
> 
> As always I would love to hear your feedback on the chapter!

Chapter 14  
~Lexa

Lexa woke, listening to the sounds of her people beginning their day below. She turned onto her side, smiling as Clarke lay flat on her stomach sprayed across, taking up most of the bed. Blonde hair fell over her shoulders and down her back. The furs only reaching her lower back and her arms tucked around the pillow where her head rested, facing away from Lexa.

Lexa leaned over planting a kiss onto her shoulder blade. She wanted to let Clarke sleep but she knew the summit would begin soon and there was a lot to discuss about the new threat. She pulled Clarke’s hair to one side so Clarke’s back was now bare. She leaned on one arm as the other drew patterns on Clarkes back. 

She heard Clarkes breathing grow deeper and uneven as she woke, but Clarke didn’t move. She began to trace the letters I. L. O. V. E. Y. O. U. onto her back one by one and then brought her lips against Clarke’s shoulder again. 

Clarke turned her head, pushing herself up and looked towards Lexa with a loving smile. Then let her self-drop back down so she was still lay on her stomach but was now facing Lexa. “I love you too.” She said softly as her eyes began to close once again.

Lexa wriggled closer, resting her head inches from the woman who her heartbeat as one with, slightly knocking her nose against Clarkes. 

“The Clan leaders will be expecting us soon.” 

“Shhhhh,” was all Clarke said her eyes still closed, but a smile never leaving her face.

Lexa just smiled back and continued drawing on Clarkes back. 

Eventually they pulled themselves from the bed and ate breakfast by Lexa’s balcony. They didn’t say much, they just sat and ate and enjoyed each other’s company. Neither wanted to ruin their moment of peace, their calm before the turmoil that the meeting would no doubt bring. It was inevitable they will be thrashed back into reality. But both were determined to enjoy and relish in the happiness that danced between them.

...........................

The guards pulled the doors open as Lexa glided into the throne room. The leaders were all stood to one side chatting and mingling, as soon as they noticed Lexa, they quietened and bowed greeting their Heda. A few generals and ambassadors were also amongst them, including the Broadleaf Ambassador. Clarke and Aria were also waiting to one side, looking like they had been in a discussion with the leader of Delphi. 

Clarke had insisted Lexa and her go separately, to make it less obvious. Lexa smiled at how cute Clarke sounded when she suggested this, like there was a way to back track after Clarkes open public display of affection yesterday. Lexa went along with it to please her, she hoped Clarke would feel more comfortable with the other leaders this way. But Lexa knew the truth, her people took choosing their partners with the utmost care. Taking lovers was normal, but a public claim changes everything. In most Clans it is common for their first public appearance as Nirons, to be at the bounding ceremony itself. The one you love is sacred, equals. Most commanders took lovers, but very few bound themselves to anyone. Many not wanting to share in their power, not wanting an equal. Lexa knew partly this was forced upon them from the Flame keepers’ teachings; flame keepers always favoured Commander ruling alone but even they had to respect and bow before those that commanders did choose to love. 

Lexa couldn’t help but smile secretly to herself, she liked the idea that the others knew Clarke was hers and she didn’t have to hide what came so naturally to her. But then her smile faltered as Costia’s face flashed before her. Her and Costia were no secret. But still they never dared to take that next step to make a public claim. Part of her wanted to, but something always stopped her, she used to believe it was the need for the flame keepers’ approval that she always was seeking. She thought she was braver now, stronger as Heda and that’s why she dares to go against their teachings, but as much as she didn’t want to admit it. She knew it was Clarke, she loved Costia but Clarke is like fire, a love that fuels her, a love that cannot be tamed. 

Lexa wanted Clarke as her equal, she already was more than her equal, better than Lexa, she made Lexa want to be better. But she was still uncertain this was what Clarke wanted. When Clarke had kissed her, Clarke wasn’t aware of the implications of her actions and after Clarke wanting to arrive separate, Lexa couldn’t help but doubt that maybe it isn’t something Clarke wants. Her people’s customs are very different, she knows Clarke loves her, but how serious was this for Clarke? She didn’t want to scare of pressure her, she just hoped no one would indicate to Clarke, what her actions truly meant, at least until after the new threat was dealt with. 

The table had been pitched at the centre of the room as Lexa had requested and now held a map of her lands and the water at the coast of it. There were many crosses now that lined the water’s edge mainly around Broadleaf, but was slowly appearing in Trikru. 

The leaders began to gather around. “Let’s begin by going over what we already know.” Lexa did this mainly for Clarke’s benefit. 

“The first sighting of the sea comers was about six weeks ago when Broad leaf spotted them off their shore. The enemy used smaller boats to arrive at the Broadleaf shore, Broadleaf seized them, torturing them for information and leaving none alive.” Lexa echoed around the chamber. The Broadleaf Ambassador kept is head down in shame of Lexa’s words. 

“As a result. Once again, we have created an enemy. As you are already aware of Wanheda’s agreement to join our coalition, we are to begin discussion on how we can change this.” Lexa scanned the room, some were still not keen on this, but the sea comers arrived with weapons and after Azgeda’s slaughter, all Clans were weary, even those who had never seen the weapons of the mountain men. 

“Our armies have already begun to march to the coast on your orders Heda, where they are to meet where Trikru and Yujleda join” The Leader of Ingranrona stated. 

Lexa saw the flash of anger take over Clarke as her eyes flew up to meet Lexa’s. But before she could make a scene and probably yell at Lexa in front of everyone, Lexa spoke, “Orders are to be sent after our meeting for them to line the coast and create a blockade. All villages on the water will fall behind it as a precaution. The Blockade will be far enough back so their bombs have little effect. None are to attack first. If they come in peace, they will be welcomed in peace.”

It was Clarke who now spoke. “If they were attacked by Broadleaf, and that is why they have attacked since, as they assume we are hostile, then of course they will strike first when they reach land.” Clarke said annoyed. 

“As Skaikru already have, we will put these white flags that you say represent peace. Otherwise, that is the reason we are here Clarke, to make a plan to comminute with them. The blockade is just a precaution to protect _our_ people.” Lexa added a little enthusiast on the ‘our’ to remind Clarke they are now one. 

“We do not need a plan, I already have one.” Clarke said standing a little straighter looking over the map in front of her, avoiding Lexa’s eyes. Lexa had a bad feeling. “What are these crosses?” Clarke continued. 

The Broadleaf general answered. “The red crosses are where the ships have been when they attacked and the white crosses are where they are now stationed. More and more show up on the horizon by the day, they know our oars aren’t strong enough to reach where they stay. Since last week they have seemed to have stopped attacking Yujleda and are making their way towards Trikru.”

“Towards here.” Clarke said under her breath. But Lexa caught it.

“Towards here?” she asked confused.

“They know.” Clarkes eyes finally met hers. “They know what here is and they know who you are. They are making their way to the capital, if they are going to make an attack for the land, it will be here.” Clarke said pointing at a spot on the Trikru coast, closest to Polis. “They will then make their way here; they think if they defeat the leader then the land is theirs.” Clarke said jumping to conclusions.

“You don’t know this.” Lexa responded.

“Why else would they not attack from the south where they came from, why make the extra journey? They must know if they managed to take the lands in the south they would be faced with an army. They know more than we think Lexa.” Concern shone in Clarkes eyes. The way Clarke says her name is soft, like her name is delicate. She will have to let Clarke know that only her family or her chosen can use her name so casually. So, if she wants to continue like the kiss in the arena never happened, she will need to start calling her Heda. Lexa much preferred her name escaping from Clarkes lips but she will respect Clarkes wishes. 

“Even if this is true, it does not change anything. The blockade will protect the whole coast right up to Azgeda –“

“And what of my people?” Luna said loudly, cutting Lexa off. “Those waters are Floudonkru. They will have to come straight through us to make land.” 

“I am sorry Luna, but temporarily, your people will have to come behind the blockade into Trikru, your people are of peace and will not fight and we cannot protect them on the water.”

Luna did not seem happy at her answer, but she knew Luna had no choice.  
  
“Clarke you say you have a plan?” Lexa said to get back to a solution, but not completely sure that she wants to hear it.

“Yes, the only option is to talk to them. If they continue, they should reach the Boat people in a few days. I plan to intercept them here before they reach them. That way it will give Luna longer to get her people to safety and hopefully mean there is no cause for war.” Clarke was pointing somewhere on the map and Lexa saw Luna give Clarke a grateful nod. But Lexa did not like where this was going. “The only choice we have is to show them we truly want peace. I will go alone with a skeleton crew and no weapons and try and talk to them.” 

“No.” Lexa heard herself commanding.

“No?” Clarke said annoyed.

“So far we have only seen them be hostile, it is too much of a risk.” 

“You thought me and my people were hostile Lexa, because we sent some flares up to signal our people and it accidently burned one of your villages, miss communication is one of the main causes of war. You sent 250 warriors to kill us, we were just kids, no older than 18 summers. You agreed to try another way.” Clarke argued.

Lexa thought for a moment, she couldn’t let Clarke take this risk, she had to come up with another way.

“Very well, but I will go, I am the commander it is me who they will want to talk to.” Lexa tried.

“You are too valuable, if the offer of peace is not accepted, it is you _our_ people need to protect them. They would not expect you but a messenger.” Clarke was valid it was hard for Lexa to argued with her in front of her people, so she conceded and decided she would discuss this further afterwards, maybe Clarke would send someone in her stead, but Lexa knew Clarke better than that. 

Just before Lexa was about to respond she noticed a suspicious look exchange between the Broadleaf general and their ambassador. “seize them.” Before anyone knew what was happening, the guards had taken hold of the Broadleaf delegation. 

“Wait! Commander, please I want to keep my head, it was not my idea but Regnors.” 

“Speak” She allowed. 

“There was one boat bigger than the others and was close enough, he thought if they went in the night by our rowing boats, he could get to their leader and kill them.” The Ambassador was looking more and more nervous. “The leader was too heavily guarded. But....”

“But what?!” Lexa demanded growing impatient.

“We have his son.”

“His son?” Lexa repeated.

“He is not harmed.” The Ambassador said quickly. “Regnor believed after the new conclave, he would present him to the new commander to gain their favour and give the option of a bargaining chip or to use as a threat for them to leave.  
  
“Where is he?” She asked calmly, but though gritted teeth, trying to keep her composure in front of everyone.

“He marches with the army to the meeting point.” The Ambassador said with his head hung low.

“Is there anything else you haven’t told us?” 

“No, Heda.” 

“Very well, release them for now, but if you betray me, you will receive a thousand cuts.” They both nodded in understanding. Grateful for her mercy. Lexa did not want to punish them for their leaders decision.

The meeting continued for hours and they made a plan for what would happen if Clarke failed. Clarke had explained the new flame throwers she had created and other weapons that could be used. Raven had also began making bullet proof shields that the leaders were extremely interested in. 

They ate all their meals in the throne room, it was not until the moon was high that they exited. Throughout the meeting Lexa had time to think, she knew she couldn’t stop Clarke, not unless she was going to lock her in her room again. This was who Clarke was, she always had to save everyone and Lexa loved her for it. So instead, she was going to plea with her for something else. 

☆


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15  
~Clarke

  
As they strode into their room Clarke spun in front of Lexa in the centre to face her, with her arms crossed. 

Clarke had been waiting for a lecture all day, part of her was still unsure whether Lexa would try and lock her in here again. She had told the others she would travel back tonight to waste no time. There was a lot her people needed to prepare. But instead of grabbing her bag like last time, she waited for Lexa to argue her plan.

Lexa’s features were soft and a sad smile crossed her face. She stepped towards Clarke taking a gentle hold on Clarkes shoulders. “I know I cannot make you stay Clarke; you have made your choice and I respect that; I just ask you to grant me one request.”

This surprised Clarke and she felt herself relax against Lexa’s touch. “Anything.”

“Stay with me tonight?”  
  
She opened her mouth to protest, but she had never seen Lexa look so vulnerable or so sad. So instead, she decided she would stay, at least until Lexa fell asleep. They have had such little time together again, it felt unfair, cruel. There was still so much to say, so much she wanted Lexa to know, she didn’t know where to begin.

Clarke nodded, stepping into Lexa capturing her wet lips, salted from the tears Lexa had shredded. “You complete me Lexa, without you I am one half of a whole. I didn’t know it then but I do now, I fell from the stars for you, everything that has happened, for a time I believed there was no reason, but it’s you Lexa, you are my reason. When you sang that song to me, I felt it with every fibre of my being, your words stayed with me all those lonely nights, I sang it to myself when nights were long and dark, I heard it in my dreams, it is what kept me going. Over the past few months, I found my own words, song writing helped me and well, Monty helped.” Clarke said starting not to make any sense, as she pulled Lexa back out of the room and into the one with the Piano. It wasn’t lit but the moon light shining in was enough. 

“I don’t always find the right thing to say like you do, but hopefully this song, will tell you how I feel.”

Clarke let go of Lexa’s hand and went to take the place behind the piano, and began to press the familiar keys that Monty had taught her. She needed Lexa to know how she felt before she left and she thought this would be the best way.

https://youtu.be/obqrjF6grp0

_You and I_  
_We're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky_  
_With you, I'm alive_  
_Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide_

_So stop time right here in the moonlight_  
_'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes_

  
_Without you, I feel broke_  
_Like I'm half of a whole_  
_Without you, I've got no hand to hold_  
_Without you, I feel torn_  
_Like a sail in a storm_  
_Without you, I'm just a sad song_  
_I'm just a sad song_

_With you, I fall_  
_It's like I'm leaving all my past and silhouettes up on the wall_  
_With you, I'm a beautiful mess_  
_It's like we're standing hand and hand with all our fears up on the edge_  
_So stop time right here in the moonlight_  
_'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes_

_Without you, I feel broke_  
_Like I'm half of a whole_  
_Without you, I've got no hand to hold_  
_Without you, I feel torn_  
_Like a sail in a storm_  
_Without you, I'm just a sad song_

_You're the perfect melody_  
_The only harmony I wanna hear_  
_You're my favorite part of me_  
_With you standing next to me_  
_I've got nothing to fear_

_Without you, I feel broke_  
_Like I'm half of a whole_  
_Without you, I've got no hand to hold_  
_Without you, I feel torn_  
_Like a sail in a storm_  
_Without you, I'm just a sad song_  
_Without you, I feel broke_  
_Like I'm half of a whole_  
_Without you, I've got no hand to hold_  
_Without you, I feel torn_  
_Like a sail in a storm_  
_Without you, I'm just a sad song_  
_I'm just a sad song_

  
When Clarke stopped, she finally allowed herself to look at Lexa, she wanted to during the song, but she wasn’t quite skilled enough on the piano yet to look away. She saw more tears escaping Lexa now and her mouth slightly agape, it was like she was trying to say something but nothing was coming out. 

Clarke stood and took Lexa into her arms, breathing in her smell, remembering her warmth, she was not sure how long until she saw her again, but right now, even hours seemed too long to be away from her. The plan was for Lexa to retrieve the boy and bring him to Arkadia, they hoped Lexa may be at Arkadia in time for Clarke to take the kid with her, as a sign of good faith, but Clarke couldn’t risk them getting to the Boat people, so if the time came, she would leave without him, and leave without seeing Lexa one last time. 

Clarke pulled back and wiped the tears from Lexa, although she now had her own tears. Clarke nodded back towards the door and soon they were locked hand in hand heading back to their room. As soon as the door was closed, Lexa was pressed against it. 

The kisses were desperate and needy. Their clothes disappeared as they fell onto the bed. Lexa was lay against Clarke above her, she loved the way Lexa’s body felt against hers, she dragged her fingers across her back, feeling the ripple of muscles. Lexa was so beautiful; her body was like it was sculptured. 

Lexa pulled her lips away, looking deep into Clarkes eyes. “You’re my princess from the sun Clarke.”

Clarke for a second got lost in thought. She saw Lexa’s facial expression change, responding to Clarkes. 

“Did I say something wrong.” Lexa asked, looking nervous.

The biggest smile grew on Clarkes face as the puzzle in her mind clicked into place. “Not at all” Clarke said. Reaching up kissing Lexa whilst still smiling. Then pulled away slightly. “Just don’t expect me to fight off any red space snakes.” She saw the moment Lexa realised that Clarke too had read through the stars. Lexa’s cheeks went a deep crimson. Noah had said, through the stars was his sister favourite. Clarke always assumed it was Aria he was referring to. 

Before either of them could make a sound, Clarke spun them around so her body now lay pressed to Lexa, and pulled Lexa’s lip into her mouth, biting it a little so they couldn’t fully part between kisses. For some reason, now they both shared a dorky favourite book, Lexa had become even more hotter if it was even possible. She soothed back over where she had bitten with her tongue, and then slowly found Lexa’s tongue with her own. 

She raised slightly off Lexa, just enough so her breasts hung and she could move, so her perked nipples now grazed Lexa’s. She felt Lexa moan into her mouth at the contact. As she was positioned perfectly, over Lexa, one leg between her legs, Clarke bared down against Lexa, giving her breasts the most amazing sensation as they collided with Lexa’s. Lexa’s were much smaller, so her own covered them, but they were perfect. 

Clarke could feel how wet Lexa was, it helping Lexa’s core slide against her thigh. The heat from Lexa burned against Clarke’s skin. Clarke continued to grind her thigh against Lexa as Lexa began to rock up against her in motion. Clarke let go of her lips and heavy breaths began to escape Lexa. She left wet kisses up to her ear. “You’re so wet commander.” Lexa moaned at Clarkes words. She knew it turned Lexa on when she used her title. Clarke reached her hand between them, and as her leg pulled back, she swiped her fingers through Lexa, causing her to buck up at the contact. Then replaced her fingers with her leg again.

She brought her fingers up from where she hovered over Lexa. One hand next to Lexa’s head holding her up. She met Lexa’s eyes as she brought her two fingers up to her mouth, taking them in and closing her eyes as she sucked them clean. She moaned at the taste.

She leaned back to Lexa’s ear. “I need my tongue deep inside of you, I want to taste you fully.” She whispers. 

“Please Clarke,” She heard Lexa weakly mumble. 

Clarke wanted to embed her taste into her memory, to become consumed by it once again.

Clarke rolled to her side then onto her back, using her hands to guide Lexa to where she wanted her. She was now straddling Clarke, her core flat against Clarkes stomach. She felt Lexa beginning to rock, desperate for the friction. She loved the way the air hit coolly against the trail of wetness Lexa was leaving on her. 

Clarkes hands ran across her thighs and she slowly encouraged Lexa higher. She saw Lexa’s eyes open and snap to hers when she realised what Clarke was asking. Clarke gave her a minute to make sure she was ok with it, never breaking eye contact. 

It wasn’t long before she felt the heat of Lexa and her arousal, move further up her stomach. Clarke moved herself slightly down the bed. She had to rub her own thighs together to quieten the throbbing at seeing Lexa hovering above her, one leg either side of Clarkes head. Clarke ran her hands up the back of Lexa’s thighs, caressing her curved flesh she found at the top. The anticipation was killing her but she waited for Lexa. 

As Lexa lowered herself, Clarke became overwhelmed by the wonderful scent of Lexa’s want for her. She loved that she made Lexa like this. When Lexa was close enough, Clarke ran her tongue through her, tasting her. She moaned against her and the taste filled her mouth. Her arousal spread across Clarkes face, her nose was buried deep as Clarkes tongue dove deep inside Lexa, lashing in and out as Lexa rode her from above. Clarke gripped Lexa’s firm backside tightly, using it to encourage Lexa lower, down against her. She brought one hand around to rub gently against Lexa neglected bud as she continued her assault on Lexa, gorging her from below. Lexa began to tighten around Clarke’s tongue and Clarke continued until Lexa fell against the wall that she had been propping herself up on. Clarke held her up slightly, lapping up any part of Lexa she might have missed and lowered her down so she sat on her chest as she recovered. 

Clarke felt the warmth leave her as Lexa moved to lay beside her. “You continue to amaze me Clarke.” Lexa said laying flat on her back looking up at the ceiling.

“I’ve wanted you like that for a long time.” Clarke heard herself confessing, before she could stop the words.

“Is that how you spend your time as the leader of the Sky people Clarke, sitting around thinking of ways to make love to me.” Lexa said looking at her amused. 

“It was a long six months. And that is actually in the job description.” Clarke joked back. 

“I hope that means I’m not obliged to do this with every future leader Clarke.”

“Hey I’m not dead yet.” Clarke joked. Lexa’s smile dropped. And she quickly sat up on her elbows. 

“Clarke, I didn’t mean that, I could not even bear the thought of even contemplating your death, I just assumed that after ....” Lexa stopped herself. “Sorry I should not assume anything of you Clarke.” Lexa said with regret in her voice. 

“Hey” Clarke said, pulling a fur over them, and laying on her side, resting her hand on Lexa’s waist encouraging her to do them same. “I know what you meant; I was just joking Lex.” She said reassuring her. They both knew Clarke couldn’t lead her people from Polis. 

“Even if I only got to see you once a year Clarke, the other days away from you would be worth it.” Lexa said trying to make up for assuming Clarke would give up her position. Lexa brought her hand to caress Clarke’s cheek and rubbed her thumb soothingly across her cheek bone. “I would never expect you to give up your people for me Clarke, I guess I just sometimes let my mind ....” Lexa stopped dropping her hand from Clarke into the small space between them.

“Tell me... If we make it through this, tell me a story of how it could be.” Clarke asked closing her eyes, keeping her hand on Lexa’s waist, their lips so close they could feel each other’s breaths. 

A few moments passed and Clarke wasn’t sure if Lexa was going to say anything, but then; “I dream of falling to sleep next to you every night, I dream of waking up to your blue eyes every morning, to your smile, to your laugh. I am leaving in a couple of moons, to begin my visit to the clans. I travel to the southern clans first to avoid winter. I dream of you being on the horse beside me, camping under the stars, showing you the waterfalls and the glowing forest, the monuments and libraries that still stand. I will have a cart pulled just for the books you wish to take with you. I will show you how the lakes glisten at night under the stars, how they are so still, you would think they were glass. I will show you the white sand beaches and waters so blue and so clear you can see the most colourful of fish. Most of all Clarke I dream of you and only you, of spending the rest of my life with you.” 

Clarke’s breath hitched at Lexa’s last words. Her eyes had been closed picturing it all. It really was a dream. She couldn’t imagine her life without Lexa, but Lexa’s words still caught her by surprise. As she heard Lexa speak them out loud, she realised that is what she wanted too, more than anything. 

“If we get through this, then I vow to you Leska Kom Trikru, I will give you all of that.” 

Lexa leaned in and kissed her so delicately, Clarke could feel her love, her fear and her hope. 

“But your people -” Lexa couldn’t help but ask through the darkness. 

“Do not need me. I will stay with you as ambassador, I can do more, good for them here, negotiate food for them for the winter and so much more. Octavia can take my place as ambassador when I am away with you visiting the Clans.” Clarke’s heart soared the more she thought about it, it was a dream she was going to cling to with everything she possibly could and a dream she was going to do anything to make happen. 

“I think you have just made me the happiest person on the ground Clarke .... and in space.” Clarke laughed at the last part. Their lips meeting, and their teeth clashing as they beamed to one another. 

“I am so in love with you Lex, your smile, your laugh, the way you internally roll your eyes when one of the leaders says something stupid, the way you make sure you know everyone’s name in the tower, the way you make my heart skip a beat every time you look at me, every time I think of you, every time I hear the sound of your voice.”

Lexa didn’t know what to say, so kissed her in return, pulling Clarke closer, so their bodies were pressed together as they were lay on their sides, their legs becoming tangled. Clarke realised she didn’t want to waste another moment. 

Clarke pulled back looking deep into Lexa’s eyes. Clarke suddenly felt more nervous than she had ever experienced. A few long moments passed as they relaxed into one another, then she managed to work up the courage to get her words out calmly. “So, I was thinking of getting a tattoo, if that would be allowed although I am not Trikru.” 

Lexa’s eyebrow peaked in interest. “I am the commander, I will allow it.” Lexa said simply. “What do you think you would like to get?” 

Clarke felt her heart pounding against her chest, her stomach in knots as she tried to not let it show on her face. 

“Ermm, well I was thinking, if you wanted to that is, we could get something the same, maybe something to do with the stars.” 

Clarke saw Lexa’s cheeks flush red, in the light of the last candle. Lexa rolled onto her back so she now looked at the ceiling, avoiding Clarke’s gaze. It took a moment for Lexa to respond.

“Clarke ... in Trikru customs, two people receive corresponding tattoos as a symbol of their intended union, then another representing the others soul after the ceremony has taken place.”  
  
Clarke leaned up, so she now looked down at Lexa, grazing a thumb over Lexa’s cheek. She had never been surer about something, someone, in her life.

“I know.” The words hung quietly in the air between them. Clarke had never felt so excited and so scared at the same time. 

She felt a tear meet her thumb. “Of course if you don’t want to, we can just –“ Clarke began to ramble nervously. Her lips were stopped with Lexa’s. “I have never wanted something more than which you speak Clarke.” Clarke felt her body relax against Lexa, and buried her nose into her neck, as she felt Lexa’s arms wrap tightly around her. Grounder proposals were a hell of a lot harder.

They soaked in the moment, listening to each other’s chests rise and fall together. It was Lexa who was the first to disturb the moment. She moved Clarke so it was now Clarke who lay against the furs. She decided she would show Clarke just how much she loved her, through her lips, through her tongue, through loving every inch of her.

.........

After, Clarke lay holding Lexa in her arms as Lexa fell into a deep sleep. Her heart ached at the thought of leaving, but knowing this would be the last time she had to, brought a smile to her face and allowed her to slowly get up and get dressed.  
  
She kissed Lexa’s forehead and whispered goodbye, pulling the fur up a little more to keep her warm in her absence. And with one last look, she pulled herself away. She wiped away a tear as she quietly closed the door behind her. 

Timpson looked down at her with a questioning look. “Tell her I will see her soon.”  
  
He gave her a nod and she walked down the hall to the stairs, the other guard whose name she couldn’t remember followed her until she got to where, Aria had said she left her bike when she gave her back her keys. 

As she adjusted to find the bike in the darkness, a smile was brought to her face by the sight of who was leaning against it half a sleep. Aria startled awake at Clarkes footsteps. “Jeez Clarke, how long does it take you to say goodbye.” Aria said yawning. 

“What are you doing here?” Clarke asked surprised.

“Lexa doesn’t need me right now; I’ll meet her at Arkadia when she arrives. But until then, I’ve got to see my girl.” Aria said adding a wink. Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Using me for a lift I see.” Clarke joked.

“It’s a whole lot faster than spending a day or two on horseback.” Aria pointed out with a shrug.

“Here take this.” Clarke gave her the helmet that hung on the handle bars and went to open up the bike seat to grab the spare and put it on herself.

Clarke gave one last glance up the tower. Seeing the flame burn strongly at the top. Then climbed onto the bike, feeling Aria do the same behind her. “Hold on tight” Clarke warned and felt Aria’s arms holding tightly around her waist. Then Clarke was off again, leaving Lexa, again. 

..............

As the sun began to rise and they were drawing closer to camp. The bike slowed. “What’s wrong?” Aria asked. 

“We are out of petrol, but I don’t know how that is possible, there should have been more than enough to get to and back from Polis.” Clarke said looking at the red flashing light confused.

“Petrol?” Aria asked confused.

“Yeah, the stuff that makes it go.”

“Ahhh, errm well I may have showed a couple of the guards how it worked before I moved it from the arena.”

“Aria!” Clarke said annoyed swinging her leg over to get off. “It’s still at least another hour or two walk from camp.”

“Sorry.” Aria said not looking too guilty. “It’s a beautiful morning Clarke, its been too long since it was just you and me in the woods.”

Clarke let out a sigh, “It’s fine, I guess an extra hour or so won’t hurt.”

They left the motorcycle by a tree, remembering what was around them so they could find it later and began on foot.

“So how come you were at the summit and how come you never told Lexa about Raven?” Clarke asked once they had gotten walking for a while.

“Ma had just visited Polis, before I went back to help with the harvest, she said Lexa was struggling, worse than after we lost Costia. Ma had wanted to stay with her but she needed to come back to tend the farm. So I went, when I saw how bad she was I couldn’t leave her, I felt guilty for being there for you and not her, she has just always been so strong... I erm.. shouldn’t have assumed she was ok.”

“You didn’t know Aria, it’s not your fault.” Clarke tried to say to make her feel better. “So, you were there all this time?” 

Aria nodded. “I told Raven not to tell you, I knew you were finally doing better, I didn’t want you knowing that Lexa wasn’t. But when I thought I was going to lose her, I knew she wouldn’t survive this fight if she thought she had lost you, I could see it in her eyes. I knew she would do everything she could to win, I just didn’t think it would be enough, her spirit had been shattered.”

“You did the right thing calling me on the radio.” Clarke said reassuringly. “So, you didn’t tell her about Raven, because you didn’t want to rub her face in your happiness?” 

Aria nodded again. 

“You are a good person Aria, one of the best I know, other than Raven that is.” Clarke said with a cheesy grin, causing Aria to reflect her own back.

“She really is one of a kind ay.” Aria said in thought. 

“That she is.” Clarke said laughing.

“I am glad you both are happy.” Clarke told her.

“I am glad you and Lexa are happy too Clarke.” Aria replied.

They walked in general conversation for the rest of the way. As they neared the camp though, Clarke felt something pierce her neck. She stopped in her stride and looked at Aria. Her vision was becoming blurry and she heard a disfigured voice coming from somewhere behind her. It looked like Aria reached for her bow, but before she could reach it. Clarke heard a click of the gun. 

Clarke now began to sway holding her neck. Arias arms were up and she heard the voice again, before blackness swarmed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no! 
> 
> So what do you all think will happen next!


End file.
